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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my ex are friends, but he called me to meet up yesterday, and it turned out he'd split with his girlfriend. After a lot of flirting he ended up kissing me and from there it went to nipple licking etc. He asked for a blow job, which I gave him. He told me that he missed me, that none of the girls he'd been with after me were any comparison. He said we should meet up again some time, he had some new dvd's i might want to see, and he'd learned to play some new songs on guitar that he wanted to show me. I didn't expect to see him again for a long time after that.That night we spoke online, then ended up having a 2 hour conversation over the phone. Now, in the past he's given signals that I've supposedly misinterpreted (he said that telling me I'm beautiful, I have great tits and that I have beautiful eyes is just being friendly). So I want you to analyse his current behaviour for me. I assume he just sees me as a sexual object, but the fact that after he'd got what he wanted he still seemed to want to talk and stuff, maybe it's more than that. What do you think?
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female
reader, pica +, writes (24 November 2006):
Analyse his behaviour? Well, he asked for a bj & got it. Having split with his girlfriend he had no immediate prospects of that happening so he's pleased that you agreed and will likely want one again so he's happy enough to chat vaguely about things you might like to keep you interested.
If you had said no to the bj, what would have happened ??
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2006): I would be a bit wary here...If he really wants to give the relationship another go, I am surprised that he has not been a bit more tentative, i.e. working on re-building the trust and intimacy with you BEFORE initiating anything sexual, let alone coming right out and asking you for a blow job! Fair enough, he might well miss you and the things he shared with you, but has he come right out said he wants to get back together with you?
I rather suspect that he wants to have his cake and eat it, i.e. get the companionship and sex from you when he feels like it without having to make a committment. I also get the feeling he's on the rebound and needs some propping up of his ego. The fact that you obliged so willingly with the blow job has now given him the green light to pursue his agenda and, I feel, weakened your position.
If I were you, I would say something along the lines of "What I/we did the other day shouldn't have happened, we got a bit carried away...you mean a lot to me and I want to keep seeing you as a friend, but I don't think it's a good idea to keep the sexual side going." That should call his bluff quite nicely, and one way or another you will know where you stand. At the very least, you will have regained your self-respect!
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