A
female
age
41-50,
dragonette
writes:In all communication there is translation. Even if the communication is in your mother tongue.We interpret our partners' sentences, trying to get to the emotional core of the message, under all the words. This is of course the source of the endless lists of jokes on what women and men say and what they mean, ie "Is my butt fat" would mean "Tell me I'm beautiful!" as the joke goes.We express ourselves in so many ways:Words - The message in it's technical form. The words chosen can set the tone of the message. "It will be my pleasure to pick you up at 8" vs "I guess I'll pick you up in the evening"Voice - If the tone of voice doesn't match the tone of the message it can be seen as "false" or "sarcastic". Compare "I'll be sure to remember this" said in rage to the same sentence said with a happy voice.Gestures - The smiles and hand gestures used by speaking further strengthen the message, but can be perceived as strained if the body language does not concur. Compare a genuine smile vs a fake smile and you will know the difference. Body language is not controllable, gestures are (although the hand gestures I make at drivers who honk at me while driving, are probably to be counted as uncontrollable as well ;0) ).So if a message is best conveyed by considering all the parameters above (words, voice, gestures and body language), what happens when we strip it of everything except for the words? Then you're essentially down to written communication. Good for relaying facts, but perhaps less good to convey an emotional message. You will not have any way of verifying if "I'm looking forwards to seeing you" is genuine joy at the prospect of meeting you or just an empty phrase as the smile or happy voice is not present.What happens if we strip the message further by adding size restrictions? We will then have to use less words to get the message across, so any extra words you could have used to further specify yourself are not there. This is what SMS (text messages sent through cellular network) are! And this is why I think texting is the lousiest way of communication there is, as there are so many possible interpretations of the message, misunderstandings are about to arise sooner or later.So when you truly want somebody to understand your full message with its underlying emotions and requests, and not just the technical details, do it face to face. Skip the text-messages!And if anybody needs a song to go with this article, listen to "Language" by Suzanne Vega: "I won't use words again, they don't mean what I meant, they don't say what I said. They're just the crust of the meaning with realms underneath..."
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male
reader, Benja  +, writes (27 February 2011):
In terms of experience I think we really match. Read some of the articles and agree on most of them. I had a similar story (fell in love with a married lady, then dumped her because I wasn't her only lover). Keep on writing. :-)
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (11 May 2007):
 I often find that texts messages can be read in up to 3 different ways... If they are taken out of context and not read as intended you get a war started! I tend to re read them to try and see what angle it did come from LOL...
My sister had recently been on the back end of a text that she thought she was just being jovial with, just having a laugh and a jibe like you would in person, but of course without the tone, the body language or the nouse to read it the way it was meant to come across, can end in a whole mountain of trouble... the person she was sending messages to was a friend of my dads, whilst all proceeding messages were of the same nature, all of a sudden he took it a different way in to which she meant it! They used to often banter and text and it wasnt something new, but this guy and just recently split from his partner, and read the jovial maybe flirty texts the wrong way! So now Lets just say, my Sis and my dad are no longer talking to the said guy!....
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A
female
reader, dragonette +, writes (10 May 2007):
dragonette is verified as being by the original poster of the question I love texts as well, they're excellent for sending silly messages to your friends and co-ordinate the meetings at work, but when it comes to the really important things like "are we gonna move in together?" or "are you still angry with me?", I would rather NOT see that in a text message as they need more communication space than an SMS allows.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (10 May 2007):
 I love sending and receiving texts. They keep me up to date on what everyone in my life is doing. I want texts to be funny and contain at least one exclamation mark (but no more than 3).
Recently sent:
"Just spotted two lesbian student trampoliners having picnic in park! identical record kit bags!!"
Recently received:
"just soiled pants on run dam the shame had to get into flat thru back entrance dont think anyone saw"
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