A
female
age
30-35,
*enny2323
writes:Hi everyone,I'm here once again sorry. As some of you may no I have been having a rough few weeks with my parents and my ex boyfriend. I tried very hard not to talk to him or think of him but it got the best of me. Over the last few days I have been very lonely and depressed. I have no friends where I live, they all deserted me and do not want to hang out and I cannot help but still cry over my ex. I accidently clicked on his profile on facebook (honestly) and went to his page where a girl from high school had responded on his page. From what she said it sounded like they were getting extremely close and I couldnt stop getting the image of them dating and kissing etc. I caved in and text him at one in the morning asking about the girl and he never replied.I text him again this morning and still nothing and I couldnt deal with someone else ignoring me so I called him and woke him from his sleep. Long story short him and this girl have had a history but nothing ever happened. He says he doesnt know what will happen with her and he's not seriously thinking of that right now because he as other things on his mind. The day he broke up with me he told me he doesnt deserve anyone but he is willing to jump into another relationship so soon after we broke up? He said it has nothing to do with me why he broke up with me, it was him. He was unhappy with things in his life and it eventually lead to me..that doesnt make sense to me. It really hurts to know he can move on this quickly and no matter what i do, whether I cut him out of my life or not he will always be on my mind and the image of him loving someone else brings tears to my eyes. How can someone just fall out of love for no reason? No reason at all. I feel this is repetative but I just can't get over it and find my way to forget about him. My head tells me he was never good enough for me and I deserve better but my heart tells me I love him. All I think of is the first time we broke up I was devistated for 6 months and how I do NOT want to go through that again but I cant control how I feel or what I think. My stomach hurts constantly when I think of him and I'm to the point where I'm starving myself because I cant eat.I told him I cannot be happy for him right now because I am too angry and he said ok. He says I need to find what makes me happy, I cant do that at the moment because I am too hurt and frustrated. I hate that he is happy without me because I did everything in my power to make him happy and I wasnt good enough?I guess all I am asking is how do I make myself happy when I have nothing for me right now? How do I make new friends to finally get off my couch and do something fun? How can I ever trust someone again after this?
View related questions:
broke up, depressed, facebook, kissing, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jenny2323 +, writes (13 May 2010):
Jenny2323 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the inspiring advice, especially moniquEE. You are exactly right, he loved me so much at one point and never wanted to let me go and it is his loss now. I know I am still going to hurt and miss him tremendously and I have to conclude that he was not the one for me right now. It is much easier said than done and it still hurts and tears still come to my eyes but I feel I had a turn around today. I talked to someone about my problems and had a lot of inspiration from friends and family.
I am better then what he treated me for the last few months and I am going to work on getting over him. Thank you once again for your advice, I really appreciate it.
A
female
reader, MoniqueEE  +, writes (12 May 2010):
Wow, you definetly resonate with what happened to me recently.
I can sit here and type that you wern't compatible and you have to move but its easier said than done.
Your still hurting, and unfortunately you are still going to hurt until YOU decide that dont want to anymore.
I've had the whole 'how can he be so ok with the breakup' and the 'did I mean anythings' but you know what? To hell with that.
You are an amazing person, because you got him in the first place. You didnt change, you showed love and attention and dedicated your heart. You got vulnerable and whilst it ended, you experienced love. Never forget the beatiful feelings you had, you were willing to let your heart feel but he was not ready to recieve.
Bad thoughts about him and yourself will only hold you back from moving on. You are a loving and caring person, he just wasn't ready and therefore not the one for you.
Take care of your heart before you worry about him, YOU come first and you always have. Don't lose yourself.
Since my breakup I've realised that I'm a freaking catch lol and now i'm doing things I wouldnt have even thought about when I was with him because I was so lost.
There is no reason to be sad and lonely, you attracted him and you'll be sure to attract others including friends.
Please don't close yourself off to the world. It wants to meet you :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Hi, I'm in a similar situation, recently broke up with my ex after 4 years and yes it is really tough. These things take a lot of time to get over but you will start feeling better slowly. As for your ex, I think you should just accept your relationship wasn't working out and leave it at that. There's no reason to take it as a judgement on you as a person, it just means you weren't meant for each other. If you're feeling depressed, exercise is good against that, why not join some kind of sports club so you can meet new friends as well?
...............................
|
