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He's my soulmate and I can't imagine a life without him. I am so hurt that we split up. What can I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend of 3 years just ended what seemed like a perfect happy relationship. I thought we were soul mates and would be together forever. I thought he felt the same until out of nowhere he told me our relationship wasn't working and we couldn't be together anymore.

I am absolutely devastated and don't know what to do. I can't imagine a life without him. He was my best friend and we have been through so much together. We have been each others rock for the last 3 years.

All our friends (his and mine) say we will work it out because we are meant to be together and I want us to try again and to find the love we once had but he isn't having any of it and says he doesn't have the will to make it work anymore.

What can I do to make him love me again and realise that what we had is too special to just throw away?

I desperately need some advice.....

View related questions: best friend, soul mates, soulmate, split up

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A female reader, neonpinkngooey United States +, writes (3 April 2007):

neonpinkngooey agony aunti know this sounds a little cliche, but be strong. because he broke it off suddenly, chances are that he has had a lot of doubts about the relationship that he felt he couldnt talk about. try to imagine urself in his shoes, and remember if there was anything that may have bothered him. this will help you gain clarity. as for being unable to function: if you lived before him, you can live after him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007):

Unfortunately, this has come as a big shock to you. Did he tell you just what about your relationship he felt wasn't working for him? Do you have any sense, thinking about it, what might have been going wrong?

I would suggest you ask him to be more specific about what caused him to come to the conclusion he has - unless he has already told you. However, no matter what anyone says it won't necessarily make him change his mind and want to try again, sorry to say.

If he felt that what you had was too special to throw away, he would not have decided to end things. He must have given it a good deal of thought first. In addition, if he has JUST broken up with you very recently, its highly unlikely that he is going to be willing to reconsider any time soon.

Really, all you can do is to accept what has happened - much as you don't want to, and painful as it is - and try to learn from it; grieve for a while and think about living your life without him. You see, if you attempt to "make him love me again" you will meet with a lot of resistance. Don't "go there!"

Eventually the hurt will lessen and you will be happy again - be good to yourself; get together with friends; do things you enjoy.

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