A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:When I saw him, I immediately fell for him. It wasn't love at first sight, but it came pretty close to it. We've been best friends for over two years now - which is exactly how long I have been in love with him. He is this rich casanova, who has girls falling at his feet. Recently, he was dating two girls simultaneously, but they figured it out, and despite it, both of them want him back. He attributes it to their true love, whereas I attribute it to their love for his popularity and money. He is perfectly aware of my feelings, for I confessed it all to him, yet whenever he's in any trouble, I am the person he calls. If there are some issues with them, he tells me. He even explains their romantic encounters to me - their dates, kisses, hugs, sleeping together - everything. For him, I listen to it all, just to help him get it all off his chest. Whenever I try to let go of him, he goes all about how I was the one person he believed would stay forever with him, who would never leave him, and I end up staying back. A few days back, he drove me to the place where he usually takes girls on long drives or to get intimate, and explained in detail his recent encounter with his ex, who seduced him there to get back. I still heard it all. After that, he invited her, the ex, to hang out with us - us entailing us best friends : three guys and me. He asked me to be friends with her, to make her feel comfortable, so that she can enter our group. And, I did it. But, it was tougher than I expected, for the guy who used to talk to me all the time, barely glanced at me in her presence. She was constantly by his side, and it was like I ceased to exist. I ended up leaving early for I started tearing up. He knew the reasons, yet he feigned ignorance in front of everyone. The next day, he sent me to her place, to convince her to come along to hang out with us again, and I had to do so. I just don't know. It's like he uses me for his own sick pleasure - like I am a second fiddle. When he wants me, I have to be there, but even if I am in tears, he'll choose his sycophant, fake and self-harming girlfriends over me, and expect me to be best friends with them. Even our common close friends, who have known him since 10 years, constantly plead me to let him go, and cut ties with him. What do I do, for it hurts every single time ?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 January 2014):
 You can get hurt over and over again by being at his beck and call or you can hurt ONE time and cut him off like a cancerous tumor. Your choice, your heart.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): Listen to your friends who are telling you to cut ties - they are completely right. He sounds like a manipulative, callous man. He knows he can get any girl and he probably enjoys having you hanging on despite all that he's done. He has power over you which you need to take back.
You don't have to do anything he says, you can see you're being used by him when he asks you to do things. I understand it will be hard because you love him but darling I really don't think you love him, you are infatuated with him and he has manipulated you enough for you to think he needs you. If he was a true friend he would never mess with your feelings and emotions like this.
If he actually loved you, he wouldn't be with all these other girls he would be with you. His lack of conscience is shown in his complete disregard for the two girls feelings he was two timing. They are probably as confused as you are with this man.
He doesn't deserve a person like you, you can't put your life on hold hanging around for him just because he thinks you'll always be there. Stop meeting up, ignore his calls. If you meet face to face, and he asks why you're ignoring him be honest and say you're sick of his disrespect towards women (using girls for his own pleasure is pathetic) and that you don't want him in your life any more - then walk away. Spend time with those friends who are telling you to cut ties, they will support you and also reinforce to you that cutting ties is the right thing to do. When you're feeling like you're needing him, go to them. Plan things to keep yourself busy as over time you'll loosen the hold he has over you. One day you'll look back and be glad you cut him from your life even if right now it feels like the hardest decision you'll have to make. Start new hobbies, gym classes, yoga, painting anything you're interested in. You'll meet other people and perhaps even a man you can begin a healthy friendship and relationship with.
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