A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just turned 29 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 28 months now we have been living together for a year and 8 months, we have a dog together we both have good jobs and are responsible people. The topic of marriage and children has came up a lot and we both agree that it’s something we want and it will happen but it has came to the point for me that I am getting very impatient and I almost feel like im running short of time to have a family like I always wanted. Sometimes I feel like he must not be ready or must not love me or want a life with me enough to take the plunge since it hasn’t happened yet it’s very overwhelming and sometimes scary to think I might be putting so much work and giving my all to something I wont get the commitment i am looking for in the end I have told him I can not wait around forever. Has anyone had a similar experience? What have you done in this situation? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2022): Why SHOULD he marry you? Right now, he has many of the benefits and few of the liabilities. He could walk away, leave you with nothing, and have barely any consequences. With marriage? Not so much! Also, having kids? Same deal there, women gain too much and there's really nothing in it for men anymore. You seem very entitled
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2022): Why SHOULD he marry you? Right now, he has many of the benefits and few of the liabilities. He could walk away, leave you with nothing, and have barely any consequences. With marriage? Not so much! Also, having kids? Same deal there, women gain too much and there's really nothing in it for men anymore. You seem very entitled
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (18 December 2022):
 As an ensconced member of thr e older generation I have to admit that I'm somewhat confused by your post. You say you are hopeing to get a commitment. You two have been together for 2.33 years. I guess that means you have been sexually and romanitically exclusive for that ammount of time. You share a home, and a pet. That sounds to me like quite a bit of commitment.
So commitment isn't really what you are after. What you are looking for is one of the following things.
A legal contract. State sanctioned "marriage".
A religeous ceremony.
A princess party.
Now I could spend an hour explaining why none of those things are any better than what you have now, but that wouldn't help you. Instead I'm going to give you 2 questions and one serious bit of advice. I hope that thinking about these three things will get you to the place where you can acheive your dream.
question one: What will he get out of giving you what you want?
question two: In what specific ways will your life be better when you get what you want?
Advice: You are a smart modern woman with a good job and a solid home. If you want something you do not:
- wait for it to "happen".
- rely on someone elses decision or timing to get what you want.
What you do do is you Make a plan and you Act on that plan to get what you need.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2022): I think you need to chill out a bit. You're only 29. You've only been together two years. Give it another year and see what happens. If you both agree you want the same things eventually and everything else in the relationship is good then there is no need to rush.
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