A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just turned 29 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 28 months now we have been living together for a year and 8 months, we have a dog together we both have good jobs and are responsible people. The topic of marriage and children has came up a lot and we both agree that it’s something we want and it will happen but it has came to the point for me that I am getting very impatient and I almost feel like im running short of time to have a family like I always wanted. Sometimes I feel like he must not be ready or must not love me or want a life with me enough to take the plunge since it hasn’t happened yet it’s very overwhelming and sometimes scary to think I might be putting so much work and giving my all to something I wont get the commitment i am looking for in the end I have told him I can not wait around forever. Has anyone had a similar experience? What have you done in this situation? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2023): Not sure why it was worth mentioning you got a dog together, big deal, that's nothing. Does not indicate or prove anything about love, commitment or the future!Some people get together and have half a dozen dogs, they can still end up cheating, falling out, splitting, on their own later.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2022): You say you are worried that you put a lot of work in etc But you put the same timewise etc as he does. You could lose five years, he could lose five years to you. You are no more special than him, your time is no more valuable than his.
If you allow him to take advantage of you in anyway that is down to you not him. Lots of people will take advantage given half a chance. Why does he have to want to get married just because it suits you and why do you assume that a man who marries you is more committed or loves you more or will last longer?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2022): He's content, because he's getting all the bennies a husband gets without having to worry about being confined within the demands and constraints of marriage. He can drop it all, and walk-away whenever he wishes. He can take everything he has with him. He is committed as far as he's comfortable with it, and will not budge an inch further.
He has sex when he wants it, he has a loyal woman by his side; so marriage will be pushed further and further out into the future.
I think it's time to ask him to poop, or get-off the pot. Put a ring on it! Women get nervous about being too pushy, because it might frighten him off. If it was only a year, or less...maybe...but two years?!! Boyfriend, are you serious or what?!!
If it frightens a guy off after living together for almost 3 years, I'd say marriage and kids is all talk. This is how you'll get trapped into having kids and getting a mortgage without a marriage-commitment. He has a built-in escape clause. Out of the blue, he'll decide maybe it's time he should move-on. Then what? "Why buy the cow when you're getting all the milk free?" As they say!
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (19 December 2022):
 I think you need to stop worrying about time running out as I think that you have plenty of time.
You have already both made a commitment together by way of setting up home, getting a dog which is a step in the right direction. If he was time wasting I don't think he would have taken these steps with you so he obviously wants to have a family with you and get married, and you both agree its something you both want.
I think like Honeypie says wait till the holiday season is over and find a good time to broach the subject next year.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 December 2022):
 I'd say wait until the holiday season is over (so wait until January) and then SIT him down and ask him what timeline (if any) HE has towards building a family and getting married.
Then you can tell him yours and see if the two of you are on the same page or not.
You can't MAKE him propose. But, he can't MAKE you want to wait indefinitely for a commitment in the form of marriage.
It might BE that he isn't really ready or isn't really sure.
If that is the case, then maybe it won't happen after almost 2 1/3 years.
I'd say you ARE at the point of the relationship where you "should" have an idea if you see your partner as your potential spouse or not.
But not all people move at the same speed.
How LONG are you willing to wait?
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