A
male
age
51-59,
*rked
writes:Here's the deal. My wife is pregnant. We've been together for a year, and for the most part, it's been a good year. Like most people, she has her share of history, and I have mine. While this may sound like some of that, it's really not, at least I don't think so. She works with a guy who carries some of that history. Not much, just a quick fling several months before we met. Because of it, and because the guy works with about 30 women and has chased a dozen or so of them, there's a rumor mill the size of Omaha where she works. Not long after it became known she was pregnant, the rumor mill started indicating he was the father. Now, I know for a fact, he isn't. Let's clear that up, up front. And the same rumor mill has him fathering almost every kid born at this place. I swear, you'd have to hear it to believe it. My wife laughs it off and says people are going to say what they say. There's nothing I can do about it.I agree with that to a degree, but about a week ago, I find out she's joking with some co-workers about how everyone is sure it's his baby. Now I was there, not like it drifted back through someone else, so I know it was joking. They, her and him even joke about it. He called one night about something at work, and said at the end of it, thanks, maybe I'll pay up on the child support. That really saved my ass.I was sitting right next to her and heard it so when he hangs up, I asked her what the child support thing was about. She said, oh, it's our running joke. Everyone is so sure it's his baby anyway, I've told him he has to pay child support. It irks me. Honestly it does. I think about the baby growing up around a bunch of people who don't know who his father is, and him (it's a he) being on a ball field 6 or 7 years from now with kids who have heard their parents talking and trying to figure out who dad is. I've told my wife how I feel about it. She says there's nothing she can do about it. And yet, the running joke between them, to me, just adds fuel to the rumor mill. We're sort of at an impasse now because yesterday she was talking about how another girl had brought her baby in the day before and how cute it was and how she wanted to take ours in after he was born. I really don't want her taking him in to that place. There's so much drama, so many issue, so many screwed up people in that place and I can hear the whispers floating around just at the thought of it.I can't figure out what I'm being? Irked? Is it a sign of jealousy? Or is it realistic to think a kid shouldn't grow up having to spend life with other always questioning his heritage? Is it unrealistic to expect her to at least not fan the flames of the rumor mill? Thanks
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female
reader, niki20 +, writes (27 May 2009):
 its bad b/c you feel pride at having a child w/ your wife and it hurts for her to be saying these things, real or not. its rude. you have every right to be upset. if i were her i would have said shut up and knock it off. its not cool but you have to tell her it bothers you. its not fair to you. its not funny either.
A
male
reader, tux +, writes (27 May 2009):
 If these are jokes, they are very untasteful jokes and have no place in business nor with any friends of your wife's. You need to let your wife know that these jokes are inapproiate and lessens you as the father of the child especially if you ever bring him to work because this joke will continue on if you bring the kid to show to her co-workers..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): you know deep down wether this child is yours and if you honestly dont know then maybe you should do a DNA test just to ease your mind
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