A
female
age
36-40,
*annahorl
writes:hi!ok so i feel weird having to ask questions about my sex life...a part of my life that i have always been really happy with...only and this is probably important - when im with a boyfriend....my current borfriend ill will be with for 3 years in september..we have been living with eachother ina tiny london studio for almost 2.5 years,,,(which propably doesnt help)but our sex life makes me incredibly upset...it is as if both our sex drives are just GONE...this isnt like me....i adore and love him...hes the best in the world but not sex..last time we had sex was end of january...i came back from a 3 week holiday on my own....and spent 2 weeks back with him having amaxing sex...but then we got back into routine and now nothing, alot of it is instigated on my side(im just not sure if he has the confidence- please dont say desire)...we read in bed tiogether...were 25! i do appreciate that but im really dieing for sex...hes a a little unconfident in the bedroom which makes me feel uneasy maybe... i prefer to be dominated...i like a strong guy in bed who knows what he wants therfore i find this hard to react to.. maybe i should be stronger..but its not really my fantasy...maybe thats selfish...we both live really stressful lives and unfortunately ive learned that stres takes all that fun away...blugh..please help...i want to relight our 'fire'! i love and adore him and hes gorgeous...help
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confidence, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Wear more sexy clothes at home and put some makeup because men are the visual kind.
A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (17 April 2010):
The right ingredients for sex is the right kind of food, exercise and enough sleep.
Take those food which is rich in zinc(Google them), regular exercise and plenty of sleep. This would recharge your sexual drive.
Go to the gym together and after sometime, you won't feel the same again.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Did you say something to him that sounded like criticism? Maybe that's why he shut down. Tell him exactly what you'd like him to do. If he's still asking like this or like that? Then ask him to pretend he knows how. Fake it until he makes it. Stress doesn't take the fun away. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We only do 3 positions but it's exciting every time. Every time there's a new little discovery and something to learn. Every day feels different. At the beginning we always said we should try other positions but that never happened. We just never got to a point when we have to ask, what next? Do you have a direction for this relationship? Is it going towards marriage? It's claustrophobic for two people to live in a studio but if you know that you are getting married then the sacrifice is worth it. You know when you save enough you are going to move to a bigger place. Otherwise you just feel like roommates. I think part of the stress is from sharing space.Age might be an issue. I didn't know I like to be dominated until I was 27, by chance. A man doesn't grow up and then one day, boom! He became a dominant man. He has to have enough life experience to be confident about himself as a man. The studio is small, but at least you are not depending on your parents anymore. If he has a career ambition, see where he will be in 5 years and not just live day by day, it will help his self-esteem.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 First of all,you need to get out of that studio. I just got myself out of a tiny apartment,and now my psychology is 100 times better! Go buy some newspapers,or search online you'll never believe there are so many opportunities out there!A 1 bedroom apartment should be fine. Having a busy life and returning to that tiny little hole isn't the best environment for a fierce sex life.When it comes to the new apartment...Get a new bed,or if you cant afford it,buy a cheap sets of new sheets/pillowcases...pick mighty colors such as red/black or silver. Avoid pastel colors (light pink,orange) as they create a more "laid back" atmosphere.you want something sexy.So...new apartment,new sheets,a bottle of champagne and a toast to a "crazier sex life"...Im pretty sure he'll get the hint! Let us know how it goes :D
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