A
male
age
30-35,
*ogonotrophist
writes:I have come looking for help and advice. I need it desperately. This is my story. When I was 15 I started going out with a girl who we will call lucy (not her real name). I had had a few girlfriends before her that lasted around 8-10 months (I am very mature for my age and I dont have pointless relationships), and after being with lucy for about 6 months I knew that I loved her, she broke up with me after 1 year and 8 months of us being together, I was (and still am) completely heartbroken. Nearly 9 months on and I still feel the same, please don't suggested methods of how to get over her because I have tried everything and anything, and anyway, I dont want to get over her, she is the absolute love of my life and I am certain of it. I really dont know what kind of answer I am looking for. But I can tell you that I love her more than anyone has ever loved anyone in any play or poem of story or song. More than romeo loved juliet, I would break each one of my limbs with a hammer just to spend a week with her. She is divine and I love her with all my heart. There is too much to explain, Please do ask questions and I will be willing to answer them. I am so much in pain.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 From what you have said, the solution is clear. Whatever her reasons may be, whatever has been said or done, the only real answer to this is: Give her time and space to clear her head. Let her know what she wants and in time, you may continue let her know that you still love her. Offer to be her friend.
I hope that helps.
A
male
reader, Pogonotrophist +, writes (30 November 2010):
Pogonotrophist is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou all so much for the anwers.
Why did she break up with me?
Well there are two sets of reasons, why she thinks she did, and why I think she did.
She thinks that she just fell out of love with me, but I know thats not the truth, me and her lost our virginities to eachother and after she broke up with me, we continued to see eachother, kiss and have sex etc. I hope you wont judge me for being underage but I really do love her and I know that the time was right.
However I am in strong belief that i know the real reason, see, as I mentioned I have had a few relationships before her, and I know what it is like, I know the difference between love and just fancying someone. However I was ger first meaningful boyfriend, which means that, even though we were very much deeply in love, she had nothing to compare it to. I treated her like the goddess that I saw her as, and now she thinks that that is normal, so she wanted to see if the grass is greener on the other side and see what its like with other guys, because for all that she knows, what we had could have been very standard, but i know that it wasn't. When she broke up with me I panicked so much because I thought i had lost her forever, however what I should have done was act calmly about it and not let it phase me, because then she would have explored life being single, realised that what we had was so special, and then things would have ended up fine, but because I panicked, and I only realise that i did now (which is too late) and i kept trying to draw her closer, which ended up just pushing her further away, and now she wont let herself love me again.
I find it offensive that anyone would say that i havent tried to get over her because i can guarantee I have tried everything over the past 8 months.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (30 November 2010):
Why did she break up with you?
You broke up for a reason and there is little you can do anymore, other than being her friend I suppose. But that really depends on why she broke up with you.
You say you love her but in time your heart will falter and eventually what you thought was everlasting, will break and fade away into a memory. Perhaps you need to evaluate things, perhaps you need to realize that the only reason you cannot get over her is because inside, you know that you are not trying, probably because you do not want to give up on whatever it was you had before.
Just keep trying to get over her. Distract yourself from thoughts of her. When you do think of her, push those thoughts away and think of something else.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (30 November 2010):
 It sounds like your love is unbelievably strong and powerful. I can almost feel your pain from the words you wrote, they are very powerful.
I won't say anything to help you get over her, I don't think I could say anything that would help you do that, as you clearly don't want to stop loving her.
I think she is a special girl who obviously doesn't know how much she means to you, or is not able or willing to accept your love, for whatever reason.
I will say that I am sorry for your pain. How long have you been feeling this way? Have you felt this strongly since you broke up?
I want to say to you that your pain will be easier to deal with over time. You will always love her, by the sounds of things, but time makes all pain easier to live with. Time helps you to put the past in perspective.
Try to remember that if she is thr right girl for you she would not have left you. If she had a genuine reason for leaving you, like she wasn't ready for so serious a relationship, and she still loves you too, then in time, she might come back to you. In the mean time you just have to try to distract yourself, if you want to that is, to stop feeling in pain so much. Try to keep busy and work on yourself. That way you feel feel more content to just be you. You will be aware of your love but it will not consume you. You will be in control of your own heart. Then if there is a chance that she comes back to you, you will be the best you that you can be.
Good luck.
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