A
female
age
30-35,
LadyZeppelin
writes:I'm making this article to remind many people to be aware of "The Code." No, not the code to diffuse the bomb downstairs, but the code of friendship, of love - Boy Code and Girl Code. It seems like everyone forgets what it is. For those of you who are unaware of the code, it's different for boys and girls. Girl Code states not to date your friends ex, not to steal a friends Boyfriend/girlfriend away, not to flirt or get between a friend's relationship, etc. Boy Code states not to steal your "bro's" girl, and if he dumps her, you can approach her, but don't rub it in. It seems as though people enjoy breaking these rules, and then complain, because "I lost my best friend and I'm clueless on the reason why... wah wah wah." They will usually mention, "I dated her ex but she dumped him, she cant be mad at me!" Well, If you had stuck to the Code, you wouldn't be in a mess. If you're having issues on whether you should date a friends ex or not, and you are aware that your friend dumped them, ask your friend, don't just do it. Also, don't even think about dating a friends ex unless it's been at least months after the break up, and your friend has moved on. If your friend "okay"s the relationship, then do not rub it in. That only makes matters worse. In all, I hope more people begin respecting the Code. My ex dated 4 of my friends and none of them asked if it was okay with me. Now, they have had their hearts broken by the b^^^^^^d, all because they broke the Code. If they had've asked, I would've told them "Oh he cheated on me, so you can date him, but I warn you, he's bad news." Too bad they never knew...:)
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best friend, cheated on me, flirt, her ex Reply to this Article
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (21 December 2011):
 I remember first see applying more to guys. Two friends competing for the same girl can turn violent quickly. On the other hand I recall several guys who passed down girlfriends back when I was in High School. Ex-girlfriend of a close relative would be a whole different story.
FA
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 December 2011):
 Another girl code, don't know if this applies to boys are well, is that first see has main rights. If a girl has her eye on someone, or likes someone, then that guy is off limits to other girl friends.
An ex of a friend is ALWAYS off limits unless there is special circumstances and permission is given. Boy code includes that one just as much as girl code does. Boys/men do not get with their friends' ex unless the circumstances are right (it was 10 years ago for example) and permission is given.
People judge for themselves, but getting with a friends' ex without permission means that you choose the ex and not the friend. So you WILL lose a friend. But that's a choice people can make, to some the friendship wasn't as valuable, or maybe they weren't as close.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (20 December 2011):
 Your friends didn't know he'd cheated on you? That's basic info to share when you break up. That to me is part of basic Girl Code, share with your friends and get the support you need.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (20 December 2011):
Whatever happened to "Respect the land, defend the defenseless and don't never spit in front of women and children". Actually I had to read your post just to see what the "code" was today.
I agree on your statement of the "code" at least as it pertains to ex's. There is a lot more that should be included in a code. The guys code includes something about information sharing. I'll be checking back to see if there are more additions.
FA
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