A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I have a problem in my relationship. my girlfriend and i are in different religious. she is muslim and i m atheism with a catholic background. We have been couple for over 3 years. We both love each other for so much but we never rely discuss much about our religious difference. Every time I was trying to address the topic, she ignored. Few days ago, she phoned me started crying and said she love me so much,but she thk it is better for us to break up, because she is being uncertain and worrying about her happiness if we end up being married. she is scared about our religious difference will harm us in the future as she heard many similar stories which end up a disappointment. I accepted what she requested but ever-since, we are both very depressed. I wanted to know from ppl who have similar status, is it a must that couple who hv difference belief in religious hv no happy ending? Is it normal for girl to consider ab the future secure more than finding true loved guy. I cant see any ways that i can forget her and move forward as i have already considered her as one of my family member. Please, I need advise from you guys. (sorry for my broken English if u find difficult to understand. I m not a native English speaker)
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male
reader, xgod  +, writes (27 March 2012):
 Your situation is not unique. Many people of different belief systems live long happy lives together. My own mother-in-law was raised in an extreme Southern Baptist setting. She married a Devout Evangelical Catholic man. The agreement between them was that they would learn about each other's beliefs without prejudice or judgement. It worked out because they learned how each other feels about the universe, the world, society, good and evil, god(s) or no God(s), etc. You should ask her to tell you about her faith. Be silent and listen. If you are in any way offended, simply consider it a myth or a legend that she believes, like Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, or Captain Jack Sparrow, or Star Trek. Just take it as her outlook on what is real to her.You say you were Catholic and are now Atheist. What you need to do is be tolerant of her upbringing. Learn why and how she believes what she does. Get to know her personal impressions of all of it. Attend worship services with her. You do not have to worship, just be a silent and tolerant observer. Know that the similarities between Catholic and Muslim faiths outweighs the differences. Check this out: http://www.reachingcatholics.org/cath_islam.htmlI advise you - if you truly love and want to spend your life with this woman, you should make it clear to her that you do. You should make her understand that you will be by her side regardless the differences you have in your heart about religion.In 1960, my wife's parents (the Southern Baptist and the Catholic Evangelical) were married. They are married today. They are happy, content with their lives, and have come to understand that each will have his or her own time to be with his or her own god(s) and everything in their lives is shared except for that one little thing. Everything else is togetherness. Do discuss it, come to a calm agreement and find your peace together.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): clearly the religious differences are very important to her otherwise she wouldn't be initiating a break up over it. It's not your place to try to convince her otherwise, as that would be disrespecting her beliefs by denying that they are a big deal when it's clear it is a big deal to her. So unfortunately you just need to accept that she considers this a deal-breaker.
and to answer your question: yes it usually is the case that if both people are of different religions, it usually does not work out long term UNLESS one or both people are not actually committed to their religious beliefs except as a superficial outward show put on for their family's and community's benefit, or from a 'cultural' participation aspect rather than a true sincere personal belief. but if the people involved seriously believe in their religion, then it usually doesn't work out to be married to someone with equally strong sincere beliefs in a different religion.
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