A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm currently very confused. I was dating a guy for nearly 10 months but we broke up when I went to uni because it didn't feel the same. We still talk and its almost as if we are still together. But there's also another guy from back home who I talk to nearly every day and I know he likes me and wants something to happen between us, but more in a friends with benefits way. My feelings towards him are so different, with my ex boyfriend it feels safe to go back to him because he's reliable but there's no passion whereas with the new guy its the complete opposite - its risky and passionate. But i'm currently so confused and going between the two of them. I want to stay friends with my ex, but he can't see that happening for a while if we break up but I don't know if friends with benefits can even work long distance and whether I will fall for him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): I wouldn't go for either of these men. It sounds like your ex and you broke up for a valid reason.
And please don't think a FWB thing is going to work! Men and women are different. A majority of women fall in love if they keep having sex with a man, but men are different. They can happily have sex with a girl for years and not love them or want a relationship.
If you're looking for a nice normal realtionship, it would be best not to be with either of these men.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (6 October 2013):
 I'm a little bit confused because you say you and your ex broke up but then say, at the end of your letter, that if you break up it would be a while before you could be friends.
Are you a couple or not?
You say you broke up because things didn't feel the same.
You say the guy from home really likes you but in a FWB way.
A LDR with a guy who only wants you for sex does not sound great to me, does it to you? I suppose it depends if you only want him for sex too.
Personally I think, choose neither.
It wasn't right with your ex which is why you broke up (well I think you have) and this other guy only wants a FWB type a relationship on the occasions you come home.
Maybe you should just be friends with both guys and enjoy being at uni and concentrate on your studies and making new friends there.
I think that maybe you should try to find a new guy that you can actually be with, who wants a proper relationship with you (not just sex).
These are only my thoughts on the situation and other aunts and uncles may have a different perspective.
I hope you solve this and get some advice that helps you.
AB x
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