A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am a 28 year old woman and have been in a relationship with a 32 year old guy for over 3 years now. He has never said I love you to me. Also he will not have sex with me- we have never even slept in the same bed. He always has an excuse and we have had some serious talks about it. He relates it to a trouble with intamacy in his past. While I love him with all my heart and want to be patient... when I take a step back I tell myself how stupid Im being for continueing on in this relationship. What do you think I should do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): Sorry, this is not a relationship - I'm not sure what it is, but that it is not...
A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (12 September 2009):
This guy sounds strange and suspect. I dont get it. Ive never heard nothing like this before. Ive heard off giving a person time ,but damn! personally couldnt be me you cant even sleep in the bed with me? Nah something isnt right. I suggest you get to the bottom of it. Move on. I guess though guys get blamed for everything if they act too thirsty than we get offended. When they dont act thirsty enough we act offended. What will it take to please us?lol. I dont know I think he might think you guys have been buds for 3yrs or hes just fruity... idk let me know how you figure this one out.
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A
female
reader, Wyinter +, writes (12 September 2009):
I dated a guy who had a problem with having sex before because his first time he got the girl pregant but he loved to give oral sex while he jacked himself off. he did not even want a blow job.that did not work for me at all because I love sex so I left him alone. So if he is not wiiling to nothing at all then he may be gay or confused hisself
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (12 September 2009):
Have you done ANYTHING with him? If not then you are basically just friends.I think after 3 years you know he is never going to change so I think you have to be strong and take action here.I think it would be best for you if you could break up with him, get over him, find a guy who does actually want to be with you, and then be friends with this guy.He clearly cares about you as a friend but after 3 YEARS you know it's not going to get better than this and you are just wasting your time.Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): First of all don't feel guilty. Three years is an awful long time to wait for intimacy. And even if he has issues with his past .... he must know this is hurting you and is being selfish not dealing with it. I think... that if you don't want to waste more time you should give him an ultimatum. Basically, if he don't he will remain comfortable and you will remain miserable. I'm not saying ... that he will move forward he may not ...but do you really want to continue and maybe eventually marry a man who won't tell you or show you that he cares? It would be miserable and it is certainly not what you deserve . I think you should tell him he is a great guy and you care but there are things you need and want in a realtionship and need to know he can provide them or it is time to move on and mean it! Don't be afraid to be alone. It seems like he is doing what he has to, to keep you but what he is offering isn't enough to keep most anyone. If you do end things and he really does care maybe missing you will finally shake him up enough to make the changes he needs to make. I hope so as you obviously care. But if not...find someone who can give you what you and everyone needs in a partner LOVE.
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A
female
reader, behindTHEtears  +, writes (12 September 2009):
 You are feeling not pleased by this man and he is not satisfying you and your needs... therefor you need to let him go and find someone else. 3 years is along time.... some people need time but then again you wonder how much more time, you will not get any younger by being with him I suggest don't waste your youth on this loser and find somebody who will love you the way he should. You deserve much more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Questions:
Are you sure he isn't gay and hasn't come out even to himself?
Is a sexless relationship OK with you? Are you happy with this?
Are you happy/satisfied with a man who has intimacy issues and hang ups about sex.
Do you think after three years, that anything will be different, ever? Why?
I think you answered your own question in your post.
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