A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I started dating a friend of a friend. Before we became involved, I used to always ask him what was up on the weekend and he'd invite me to go out to the bar with our friends or sometimes just his friends. Last night I asked him if we could get together this weekend, and he said no, because his friend wanted to go out to the bar. I didn't want to do it, because I'd hoped he'd think of it himself, but I ended up telling him (in a joking manner) that he could just invite me rather than choosing one or the other, after which he said I was welcome to come. The fact that I had to invite myself has ruined it but I don't know how to discuss it. I don't want to make a big deal of it or cause drama. If I say I have other plans, he'll know I made them after the fact, which looks spiteful. If I just say I don't want to, I still look like I'm making a big deal of nothing. I wish I'd never had the conversation, what's the best way to come out of it looking cool? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): There's nothing wrong with inviting yourself out with a guy you like. I think you should go out with them and see how the night goes! If he seems to be enjoying himself wih you there too then you know he meant what he said about you being welcome to join, if things are a bit awkward then perhaps he was just being polite, but if he's interested he will be happy that you are there. Let us know how it goes!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): You wanted him to invite you to join him and his friend.He said you're welcome to join him and his friend.Why don't you just go? If he didn't want to invite you, he probably would have just made an excuse to get out of doing so. At the same time, you did put him in kind of an awkward spot. So go, have fun, and make him glad that you came along.
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