A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:To cut my story short, I met a turkish guy at a resort during my holiday 2 months ago.We are both muslims and have similar cultures as I am from the middle east, so we seem to understand each other's views and lifestyles. Everything was going smooth even after I went back to my country and he told me his intent of having a serious relationship with me and I asked him if he is ready to take this step while we are long distance. He said he is ready and that he is willing to come visit me every now and then. He even told me he wants to introduce me to his family, and he made me talk to his sister by phone once. I am even travelling to turkey to see him next month. The problem started two weeks ago when he started telling me about being in debt and all and so i decided to help him and sent him money. After a week he told me he wanted more money because he doesnt work now and so on so I sent him more money. Then just now he tells me that he needs a phone and he wants me to help him buy it. My question is does he really like me and wants something serious with me? Or is he just trying to use me? Im having a hard time deciding.
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debt, long distance, money, muslim Reply to this Question
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (6 November 2017):
 This guy is definitely using you and he's very cleverly done his homework and spotted your weaknesses.
You've been too kind, too loyal and now it's time to STOP!!
If this guy truly had an ounce of respect for you, he'd never be asking you for money on a continual level, not to mention that the two of you have only met recently.
Do you really want to start off a relationship with a guy who has no job and expects handouts of cash from you?
This isn't healthy and the quicker you start running, the better off you'll be.
Also, there's no guarantee that you actually spoke to his "real" sister via the phone.
Chances are, if he is using you for money, he's not going to be naive enough to get his "real" siblings to talk to you, that's if he even has any "real" siblings.
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (6 November 2017):
 That's daylight robbery, sorry. WHY is it a woman's responsibility to PROVIDE for a guy she just met?
I'm guessing you/your family are well off- and I'm sure he's picked up on that.
I agree with Aunt Honesty, tell your family
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (4 November 2017):
 Some guy you barely know is asking you for money.
Hmm is it love or is he using you? You met him 60 days ago and he's asking you to bail him out of debt.
You know he's using you, on what planet would what he's doing be acceptable?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 November 2017):
 He is soooo using you. If you live in a Muslim culture , you should have already realized that they are male-oriented, even male-dominated , cutures. Which, has its perks too ! A Muslim man loathes depending from women for money and , particularly, would never ask money from any woman whom he respects. If he is asking you, it means that, regardless of sharing the same religion, he sees you exactly like one of those many dumb , naive tourists whose who are just begging to be taken advantage of by crooks like him.
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A
female
reader, mishi 1 +, writes (4 November 2017):
 Hi there, please don’t take me wrong he is just using you. If he is serious with you he never ask you for money. He didn’t wanted to be disrespectful infront if you. I am very close to Muslim culture.
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (4 November 2017):
 Just the fact that you posted this question here proves you think something is fishy. This man doesn't seem very trustworthy. He only met you 8 weeks ago and has already asked you for money more than twice. It sounds out of character for a man wanting to prove himself as a suitable spouse for a relationship. Don't let his words fool you, men often tell women whatever it is they think they want to hear. Plus there's no proof the woman you spoke to was his sister.
My advice, he appears manipulative and burdensome. You hardly know him. Don't believe him, I don't think he has given you much reason to. Unless he can prove in someway he really wants to be with you I say kick him to the curb. I think you also let your family know whats going on. Allow them to support you. I'm sure actually care for you.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 November 2017):
 He is just using you. He sees you as a young girl who is blinded by love and he is using that to his advantage. I remember you writing about this guy before. You need to talk to your family about him and tell them that you have been sending him money. That needs to stop now. You barely know this guy.
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