A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I have been dating by boyfriend for three years and am very much in love with him. However... I recently moved to a new city and am trying to make friends. As I am out meeting people, people occasionally hit on me and I don't know how to act. I want to make guy friends... But I also want to be faithful to my boyfriend. I don't want to walk around with a sign on my neck saying that I'm taken, I feel like a lot of guys are discouraged when you tell them upfront that you have a boyfriend. For example, I met a really cool guy at a bar this past weekend and he invited me to brunch this week which really feels like a date. I still haven't responded because I want to tell him that I would love to go as friends... I'm just not romantically interested. How do I tell him that without losing his interest in friendship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Maybe you should start out with making FEMALE friends? There is nothing wrong in male friends (most of mine were and are male) but when you are in a relationship making new MALE friends can seem like you're either looking for a replacement or someone to stroke your ego, provide you with something you are not getting from the BF.
Also meeting "friends" in a bar? I don't think most guys go to bars to make that kind of friends YOU are looking for. OF COURSE the are discouraged when you tell them upfront, because..... they are not looking to BE your friend. Maybe "friend" with benefit or ONS or BF - not friend.
The guy you did met? BE honest and BE UPFRONT or you are a tease. (sorry, if that is blunt). Why didn't you tell him AT THE BAR I have a BF, but I'm looking to make friends because I'm new to the city? How is that "wearing a sign" ?
If you have moved to a new city I presume you have a job or is looking for one? If so maybe there are some girls at work you can befriend?
Or if you have a hobby, sport you can met new people through that too.
Would you want your BF to be trolling the bars for FEMALE friends? Honestly?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2014): Most guys who you meet in bars, clubs and pubs will probably be hoping for much more than a platonic friendship if they ask for your contact details or ask you out. It's probably not the best place to forge platonic friendhips.
While you're chatting with guys you meet, slip into conversation that you are seeing someone - then they can make a much more informed decision about asking you out and you don't have to face the embarrassing situation you're in now.
How about making some gay male friends?
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