A
male
age
51-59,
*orriedman
writes:I feel really stupid writing about this, but I'm feeling like whatever I do, I'm pushing my girl further and further away, even though I believe that she is the one in the wrong.We have been together for 3 years and when we first met, she was with someone else, I said that I didn't know that and that I was sorry for flirting/showing an interest in her. She said that although she lived with this guy, they were more like brother and sister and she wanted to meet me for no strings fun, as she had with many others before me.She made no secret of the fact that she liked to "cum and go" as she put it and back then, I was single and thought it wouldn't ever happen and we started to talk (all online)....Any way, after a while, I started to fall for her, we spent many an hour talking on camera and had loads in common, the whole dynamic seemed to have shifted from a casual thing, to love.After an 8 month on line affair, we finally met and it was like we were made for each other, I was fearful that once she'd "had me" that it would end, but things went from good to better...We eventually got caught and after many violent confrontations, she finally moved away from the ex and into her mum's. But he managed to talk her into going back and even though everyone told me to stop talking to her (they said she wanted her cake and to eat it) I still kept seeing her. She told me that she wasn't interested in him at all and was only there for the house and the child (10 at time). I trusted her completely and never once thought that she was sleeping with him, it never even entered my head, I thought she loved me and me alone and wouldn't do it. Then one night I got a drunken text admitting that she had been having sex with him, I was devastated and from then on, I haven't been able to trust her. She has since moved out again and into her own flat, but is saying that she wants to move back into the house, not to be with him, he's moved out to, but to pay him rent. Last time this happened was when she ended up in bed with him again.Her sisters live in another country and she goes to see them a couple of times a year and is currently out there now for 3 weeks. Up until this year, she would call me, text me and facetime me every single day and night, but this time I am hardly hearing from her at all.A few months back, a guy sent her a friend request on facebook and she accepted it, he is a friend of her sister in this other country. He was like a dog on heat, sending her message after message after message. I asked her to delete him and she did, but then after 3 days of this holiday, she had added him back onto her friends list without even telling me. I asked her about him and she said that he was "around" but that she wasn't spending time with him. Because of past events, I didn't believe her and she had always said that I could log into her facebook account whenever I felt like it, so I did...What I found was a conversation between her and her sister at the same time that she was talking me, that showed he was sat there with her. I felt completely betrayed (again) and sent a message saying that I was done and I deleted her from facebook.I have since sent her another message saying that I love her and does she love me and she went wild on me, saying that she loved me, but that she couldn't take much more of my jealousy, she said that this guy was a friend and that she wasn't interested in him and that should be enough for me and if it wasn't, it's my problem not hers....We've been back in contact for a couple of days, but I've hardly heard from her and it's sent me into a depression and when we do text, I'm not happy and I'm afraid that I'm losing her because I can't lift my mood, I still don't think I have done much wrong, but she appears to be able to do whatever she likes without me being able to have any opinion on it, I have deleted and stopped talking to girls that she hasn't liked, just seems like one rule for one and one for another.She tells me that I should trust her, but how can I when she keeps lying to me ? and I don't hear from her...Sorry this is so long, but wanted to get some background history in as well. PS, we live at opposite ends of the country and I usually spend 2/3 weeks there at a time,but then we have the same apart...
View related questions:
affair, drunk, facebook, flirt, jealous, moved out, talking to girls, text, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, 1989mrz  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 enough is enough ,the more you after her and show her true love she is still goin to hurt you,just move on you did your best to show her how much you love her ,just let her go she wont change
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 August 2014):
 Take off the blinkers and look at her track record. You don't trust her, and with very good reason, you say yourself that she keeps lying to you ...... what are you wanting us to say to you?
I feel sad that you find yourself in this place, you know what sort of person she is but it seems you are always expecting her to magically become a completely different woman.
She is a liar and a cheat. It is very unlikely she will change and you need to accept that.
Take this time while she is not communicating to decide your course of action,
1. you can either accept her as she is, a liar and a cheat, and live with that truth, or
2.keep your blinkers on and stay right as you are at this time, worrying and hurting, or
3.you can decide enough is enough, that her treatment of you is not what you want, and end it.
Three hard choices, I doubt you could carry through on choice number 1, choice number two means that you will continue to hurt and worry, and choice number 3 would give some hurt at the breakup but it would eventually stop being so painful.
But they choice is yours, nobody else can make it for you.
...............................
|
