A
female
age
36-40,
*enjen.270
writes:I have been dating this guy for four years now. We have a chld together and one on the way. We both had son's before we got together. I have tried to get along with his son, but have found it impossible. His son is a lot older than mine and he is very mean to him. He tells him things such as your not loved, or your not my brother. He hits him, pushes him, almost anything to make sure that he has hurt him. He makes fun of him and tells him that he has no daddy. He tells me that I can not correct him and to go ahead and tell his dad because there is nothing he can do about it. I am fed up, I dont want to leave my boyfriend, but I dont know what else to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 July 2010):
 You need to nip this in the bud! Which mean you need to sit down with your BF and go over what rules you accept and what punishments you will dish out.
Then you need to sit your step-son (and your other children down) and go over the rules. Your BF should beforehand talk this over with his son. Your BF need to let him know that while his son lives with you two, that you BOTH can discipline and set rules, together and individually.
I would suggest you look up some books about blended families and how to make it work.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 This is a problem for your boyfriend to correct. I can understand why this boy may resent you - he may blame you and your children for the break up of the previous family home. This is wrong, but in his eyes you are probably the wicked step mother. Your children should not be at risk from emotional or physical abuse. Therefore you should insist that your boyfriend has father-contact time outside the home until the matter is resolved. I am assuming that the boy lives with his mother and your boyfriend has weekend access (or a similar arrangement). Your boyfriend should also talk to the boy's mother if he is on civil terms with her. She maybe able to do some groundwork at home with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): Clearly, you need to talk to your boyfriend about it, calmly and not in the presence of the boys. He should be disciplining his child and correcting these violent behaviors. If he cares about you and your son at all, he will. If he refuses, you have to decide if it's worth sticking around.
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