A
male
age
26-29,
*HV
writes:Hi everyone, I'm 15 yrs old, and have always been single, no first kiss or nothin, but i want a relationship. However, there are a few probs... I have a crush on an slighlty older girls (16, goin to be 17 soon (but im gunna be 16 soon) shes a senior in HS this upcommin year, I'll be a junior) and she is really beautiful. however, i dont really know who she is, and she seems like a preppy type of girl (sort of) and thats fine, so long as shes not the stuck up- preppy girl (you know what i mean: "you wanna go out with ME? HA" kinda preppy stuck up) And shes attractive and popular and athletic, and, well, i'm not. Well, by that i mean: Im average in looks (i've been told), have a small circle of friends (but i like that, although having a few more wouldnt hurt.) and im a lil bit chubby. And im REALLY shy, and make mistakes (one time i was thinking about walking up and talking to her while i was in class, and maybe even asking her out, however when i think about something and its in my field of vision i tend to stare at it. I looked like a creeper... lol*FACEPALM*)Everyone always tells me just to talk to her, but im afraid if she is the stuck up type she'll just shoot me down, and tell all her "popular" friends, and therefore diminish my schoolwide reputation, classifying me as a "creeper" (which no i am not. If i were i creeper, i would be going through her FB photo's right now, not asking for relationship advice..." I know its stupid, but its a huge fear thats haunting me.Somepeople say that i need to aim abit lower to start off dating, and then i can "move up" to a girl fo her standards.... however i think this is shallow, and im not going to date someone to try and get to the girl i REALLY wanna be with.. I wouldnt be happy, and neither would she, and im not putting me, or the "lower class" girl though that. However, i do sort of see the point. I'm aiming for a girl whos had many relationships, and is beautiful, while i am new to this, and arent the prettiest painting in da vinci's collection. Idk what to do, i just need some general help.. Idk, maybe some confidence boosting techniques, some encouraging words, etc. something.random notes: -I would say i'm an intellectual (if my writing doesnt vouch for it hear, its 1:00 in the morning where i live, and am veeery tired :P)-I think im romantic/ romantistic. I love to see the bright side of things (otherthan myself, i can almost NEVER see the good side of ymself)and love thinking thoughts about romance, marriage, etc. I consider myself kind of rare because of this, because most guys my age i know just think about "hotness" and being "in the moment", while i try to think about beauty, compatablility, motherability, and marriage when i think of relationships. I love romantic moments in movies, etc. I try to sort of hide that though, because people call my gay, etc. (btw im in favour of gay marriage.)-I love going out with my friends and doing outdoorsey things (snowboarding, boating, just tossing a ball around, stuff like that) however i am naturally just sort of chubby and weak. I am not the strongest guy in the world, and have very low physical stamina. this consernes me for 2 reason, 1) being weak doenst look good, and 2) i dont want my partner to feel i cant defend them in times of need. (which i always will, im a pacafist and will walk away from a fight, unless its on my family or close friends, then i'll fight like chuck norris on roinds.)-I have low confidence/ self-esteem. again, not attractive. and even if it doesnt help me "get the girl", please give me some help to help me boost my confidence/esteem.-I try to be nice, and fair to everyone. That means judging people not by what people tell me, but how they act towards me. regardless of race, social status, etc. I feel this Is a good trait of mine, but its not very "noticable" if that makes sense.....Thats all i can think of for now, and thank you, and sorry for any unclarity there may be, again i am TERRIBLY tired, but wanted to get this in. Good night everyone!-CHV
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 July 2011):
 I think insecurity is your largest problem here. But you have no reason to be insecure. Nothing you see as a problem is impossible to change. If you think you are weak or unfit then start becoming athletic. It isn't hard and don't start telling yourself that it is because that would be a complete lie. Nobody starts out athletic, they find motivation, something to drive them towards something better. Perhaps that is where your insecurity lies. Perhaps you think that if you were stronger, you wouldn't be so afraid of what other people think and let's face it, nobody cares what other people think except for the opinions of your small circle of close friends. And only your CLOSEST friends might matter.
Confidence is what matters. Not strength, nor reputation. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself. Stop exaggerating what flaws you think you see. As people, we are often our own worst critics. Why don't you just start a conversation with this girl, get to know what she is like, show her that you are friendly and then when you think she really is preppy in a good way, then just ask if she'd want to go out with you. Try not to over think it. That's important. If you think about it too much, you'll get nervous and it won't leave a good impression on anyone.
I hope that helps.
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