A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have trouble making and keeping friends. I used to not care but lately it has been on my mind a lot. My only best friends are my girlfriend and her best friend.I have hung out with co workers and I have a great time. It's more of a group thing but lately I haven't been invited. It's starting to get to me where I hear co workers talk about going out as a group and I don't get invited. I have a co worker that only wants to hang out with me if I take them home. I have a friend from my childhood and we started hanging out again. However, the last two months he barely talks to me.If I was a bad person I would understand but they always tell me how cool and down to earth I am. My co workers hug me and are happy to see me but then it ends there. Every time I hung out with my friend from when we were younger he would text me that he had a blast and that we need to hang out again. Where did I go wrong? I have tried them coming to me and I have tried going to them but it's all fading just like most of my friendships. Even a new friend I have is starting not to talk to me as much. I'm nice to all of them and am there if they need me. I just wish someone will tell me what I'm doing wrong so maybe I can fix it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2013): It's not always the quantity of friends you have, but the quality. Nowadays, people are able to meet a large variety of folks due to social media. They may also prefer to run in smaller cliques. They only form larger groups during holidays and celebrations.This may be because socializing isn't as participatory as it may have been before the smartphone era. You have to find a group of people who share a common-interest. Join a club. People who like video games run in their packs, people who like clubbing and dancing hang with their own; and women seem to be the most outgoing, and welcoming group. Thus, your girlfriend and her best friend.If loyalty is what you're looking for, get yourself a great dog. They fill in where people fail. People give more face-time to their cellphones and devices than other people. Dogs will offer you love and their undivided attention. Find a rescue animal, and give him or her a home.If you take up hobbies, such as photography, art, reading, woodworking, or cooking; you'll meet people who tend to reach out to form networks. They can be pretty loyal. They need to be around other people; and like sharing their talents and exchanging ideas.Volunteer work also keeps you meeting people. You also get to do some good while you're at it. If you depend solely on crowds who like partying and drinking, you'll learn their socializing is limited to only that. It can be costly, and risky if you drink and drive. Most single guys are out trolling for female companionship for sex; and unless you're the wing-man, you're competition. Once they find a woman, they forget their buddies; until they get tired of being whipped and housebound. They only get limited nights out with the fellas.People come and go, they are not a constant. That's when you need to find creative things to do, and you'll find creative people who enjoy sharing their time and company.You'll also get to discover your hidden talents.Don't lean on people too much. It will start to make them pull away. They don't know how to appreciate human interaction like they used to. Technology has stolen that element of humanity that makes people warm and friendly. That's why finding a hobby is important. You develop your talents and skills. Express your sense of creativity. You also get to form friendly ties with interesting people who like to show off their talents and crafts, and share. You'll have something to do to keep you busy when no one is around. Maybe earn some spare cash.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2013): I don't think you should take it very personally as it might be just a wave in your life. I had waves also, when I had no one to hangout with or go out with and then it would change into a completely different situation when I had outings with someone every weekend or sometimes even several times a week. Your co- workers may be not even thinking of you it's not that they don't invite you on purpose. I would suggest to invite yourself, and then you'll see their reaction. But I am sure they'll be happy for you to come. That co- worker that nly using you for driving is wrong, disregard him. Also people sometimes just don't have time to hangout, or something else is on their minds. The older you get you will find out that it's better not to see your even very good friends very often. Let them miss you, then when you meet again you ll have many things to talk about. believe it or not but there will come time in your life when once a month will be plenty to see your friends. I have three groups of friends that I see once a month if so, and it is plenty for me. Mostof the time I spend time with my husband, this is how most couples are. So it's ok to have your girlfriend for a friend. Many people don't have even that and dream about it.
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