A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Help please!! Hi all, can I get your opinions to see if I’m being selfish.My husbands family all live abroad- his mum, dad , sister and her husband with their 2 kids aged 6 and 9.Every year since we have been married- 12 years - we go to visit them and stay 2 weeks, in August , however for me it’s not a holiday. We stay with his parents and it’s a little cramped. I’malso expected to cook and clean with his mum, now obviously i understand if you stay with someone it’s good manners to help out but this is everyday for 2 weeks and it’s not just one meal a day I have to help with, she makes a big breakfast for everyone and then a big dinner and everything is made from scratch. So if I’m not cooking and cleaning , I’m shopping for ingredients. Then she invites friends and neighbors to join us which makes it even more work for me. Then his sister pops over and leaves her kids with me (they are on summer holidays) she goes out and runs errands and im not talking an hour or so- she leaves them for 3/4 hours, some days the entire day and they run riot in the house and demand snacks and attention. My husband gets to go out with his father and his friends out there - having a holiday and enjoying himself. By the end of the “holiday” I’m exhausted. I have time and time again asked my husband why we can’t just stay in a hotel nearby, atleast I’d get some peace and quiet but it would upset his parents apparently! I have also asked if we could possibly go out of summer holiday season so atleast I wouldn’t be dumped with the kids all the time but he doesn’t like travelling out of the month in August as that’s when they have the best weather and the rest of his friends visit the town, so he sees them too. I’ve suggested we go eat at restaurant's or getting a takeaway in the evenings, now and again to save us cooking but his parents don’t like eating out or eating takeaways so it’s always home cooked meals. I have also asked my husband when we go away somewhere just the 2 of us since a haven’t had a proper holiday since our honeymoon but he feels the visit to his parents is a holiday and because we can only permit ourselves 1 holiday a year financially he wants to be with his family which is understandable but annoying. Ive suggested they come to visit us in the Uk but it’s “too much hassle” for them. So this year I decided I’m not going, instead I booked a 10 day holiday with my sister and best friend and my adult niece and we are going to an all inclusive adults only resort with a pool, spa and It will be my proper holiday in 12 years which I feel I deserve. Of course my husband isn’t happy about it saying his parents and sister will be upset and his sister even contacted me giving me a guilt trip.I don’t feel I’m being selfish- I feel my husband and his family are the selfish ones treating me the way they do when I’m out there.Opinions?
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