A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It's hard to forgive yourself. I hope that this isn't too much information, but my heart has been aching for a long time because of a mistake I made a year ago.I regret giving my virginity to a man who wasn't my soulmate. I regret it so much that my heart aches. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I felt love for him, real love, but he wasn't The One. I would give anything I have to go back in time and undo it. I would give my left arm. It's true that everyone makes mistakes, but this is a serious mistake. Even if I did find my soulmate, I can't have the wedding I want now, because I don't feel like a princess, and it won't be special, because there won't be anything new to experience. I feel damaged and unlovable. I dreamed of having a very special theme for my wedding and dreamed of feeling like a princess on my wedding day. For YEARS, DECADES even, I planned to be a virgin until marriage. I don't want to make anyone feel lousy. I beg you, if you are reading this, please don't do what I did. Please learn from my pain. I live with heartache and regret every day.Yes, we loved each other. Yes, we were in a committed relationship. But, it wasn't a marriage. It wasn't my wedding night. That boyfriend that I gave it to? We're in two different countries, and he has probably forgotten me. I haven't forgotten him, but I remember the painful memories as well as the love and dreams we shared, and I have realized that he was never The One. Promise me you won't do what I did.
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