A
female
age
36-40,
*ustme00
writes:Well i dated this guy about 9 years ago. We dated about 8 months and he was head over heels in love with me. He was the most wonderful boyfriend you could imagine and i loved him so much. We got along great but i was young and my friends were telling me he wasn't the right guy for me and that i could do so much better. So i broke up with him and never spoke to him again. I went on and started a new relationship with a guy that lasted 8 years. We had a child together and he left around a year ago and just in the past week i reconnected with my old flame that i have not talked to since we broke up. He has never got over me and still to this day misses me. BUT... he is now engaged to another girl and they have been together for around 3 years. I have been talking to him and texting with him for the past week and we have talked about everything. He never speaks to me about his girlfriend except to tell me initially he was getting married. I feel so confused right now because he asked me to go out with him next weekend. I don't know if he is trying to see if there is something still there. Should i leave him alone or try and see if we could be together? I really do miss him and want to be with him. I think he wants to be with me too. Please help me with this. should i leave him alone or try and see if we should be together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): Ok, you are not taking responsibility for much of anything here. You blame your friends for breaking off an 8 month relationship, so you just went on and found another guy and that relationship lasted 8 years...and then he left and you are a single mom.
Then you just out of the blue happen to be in touch with the guy whom you last dated before your long term relationship ended....you didn't contact him did you?
Now he tells you that he Never got over you and misses you. Hello, is anyone home in there?
He did get over you, it has been 8 long years and he NEVER once in that long time contacted you and now he is engaged to someone he has been in a relationship for three years.
He has moved on with his life, he doesn't miss you and probably has not even thought of you in several years until you happened to pick up the phone and tracked him down.
I think you are just afraid of being alone. How many years as it been since you tried being single? Tried being happy with your own company? Do you even know who you are outside of a relationship now? Do you have plans for the rest of your life and your child's life?
Why don't you put down the phone and the romance novels and pick up a good self help book on rebuilding your self esteem after a breakup and get moving with your own life and don't interefere with this guy's life.
He is not going to leave his fiance for you, nor should you want him if he did. Seems like you have already had a failed relationship with a noncommital man (you never said you married your child's father), you certainly do not need another one.
A
female
reader, Rafaella  +, writes (7 February 2010):
well I am one of those people who believes in soulmate relationships. Soulmate relationships that are difficult, because there is always something that keeps the soulmates apart...I am experiencing this right now in my own life and its hard, but I still do the right thing and don't interfere, because I know things will fall into place the way I want, if I'm patient.
That's what I suggest for you to do and that is to NOT come in between him and his fiancee. If he really cares about you then he will end his relationship on his own. If you are meant to be together, then you will be, and if not then you can move on...
I think he will respect you more if you call him and tell him, you can't see him because you don't want to come in between. You can tell him that you care about him, that's it. And let him decide if he still loves you enough to end his relationship or not...You will be more proud of yourself if you don't interfere, you don't want bad karma, let him decide whats best for him.
You made the decision once and ended the relationship with him, now give him that choice to make a decision... :-) It s also not fair to his girlfreind to marry someone who still is pinning after his ex...she deserves to be happy too and have her husband's heart all to herself only... so yes I do believe that he might be making a mistake by marrying her, but let him come to this conclusion on his own, and DON'T INTERFERE....
I hope this helps!
Good luck!
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