A
male
age
26-29,
*atthewdk9
writes:I'm grossed out after knowing my Mum did a cameo topless scene in a film?Recently, I saw my Mum topless in an old movie. It was a cameo appearance but it shocked the hell out of me and disgusted me. I don't know how to deal to with it. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2014): Yeah of course your mum has boobs. Just try not to think about it!
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 September 2014):
 I grew up with nude and topless beaches so really, it is not a big deal for me..
Your mom was in a movie YAY - she was topless in said movie, OK.
Personally, I don't see the big deal. Now if it was porn I can see the shock and horror, but topless in a movie? Eh.
My mom AND aunt made money through uni as nude models for the art department. And my parent have a really well done oil painting of her naked (now it's not full frontal or lewd in anyway), it's really beautiful. But you know what SHE sat NAKED in front of 20-30 students when that was painted! She was also 18-19 and pretty gorgeous.
You MOM was a girl, a young lady and a woman BEFORE she was MOM. There really is MORE to her then having carried YOU for 9 months and raised you. She had a LIFE before you met your dad and got married/pregnant.
So Chill, it's all good.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 September 2014):
 Eh there's worse if you think about it- just, don't think about it :).
Your post reminds of a delightful novel called " Marion " by Vicki Baum ( total chick -lit, yet very well written ). The story is set in Pre -WWI Wien ( Austro-Hungarian Empire ).
The main character, Marion, is girl of 6 or 7 years when she notices that all of a sudden the house maid sports a big belly . She asks her why, and the maid tells her, simply and a bit crudely, the facts of life . The little girl is incredulous :" Do you mean that also my mom and dad did THAT too to have me ? " " Yes, my dear. Everybody, but everybody does the same. The procedure is the same for all of us ". And the girl, reluctant : " Uh, ok.. maybe... but not the Emperor. I'll never , ever believe that Emperor Franz Joseph did THAT too ! ".
The fact is, that is uncomfortable, awkward, even painful to think of our parents as sexual amd sensual beings, or worse as erotic objects of somebody's desire and admiration. In a way, we just can't wrap our head around the fact that our parents too possess private body parts that in the past may have been willingly offered to the lust / appreciation of lovers and / or strangers.
While, I am sure that you do not find it strange when you stare butts of girls wearing skimpy bikinis at the beach . And these girls one day will have grandchildren who will probably be bothered at the thought that men where checking out grandma's butt all the time :).
What you feel is normal, I guess. For some reason, or for various reasons, nobody likes to dwell on the thought that what we know firmly in her role of " Mom " is also a FEMALE. With the secundary sexual characters of a female, and the intent / chance / need to expose them to a person / more persons if so she chooses.
And viceversa, of course. I can tell you that your parents would be VERY uncomfortable if they ever had to run into ,say, pictures of you involved in intimate moments ( and I don't mean on a porn movie set, just something tame like you and your wife sunbathing naked ).
Although in theory obviously they would have nothing against you being a normal human being with a normal private , and sexual, life. But, in practice, it's too close for comfort.
Not such a big deal- just commit to make it,like YouWish said , a " Let's never speak of this again " moment. Or a " Let's not even go there " moment.
But take heart- I think everybody sooner or later gets hit by the realization that their parents were also made of FLESH , all over , and not lifesize Barbie and Ken- and everybody eventually makes their peace with that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2014): Did you know she was in the film before you started watching it?. If so, why did you watch it in the first place if you knew she was in it?. Or did you know she was in it but you didn't know that she was in a topless scene?. Or did you not know she was in it until you saw her on the screen ?.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (27 September 2014):
 I don't know if you're into the HBO miniseries Game of Thrones or not, but I happen to be a HUGE fan of it. Needless to say, there's plenty of nudity going on in there.
During an interview on a talk show here in America, one of the starring actresses (Emilia Clarke, who plays Daenerys Targaryan for all of my fellow fans) was talking about nude scenes and her family. It took a long time for her dad to look her in the eye, and it took her mom a bit of adjustment time as well, though she came around faster than her dad did. Even now, it's one of those "Let's never speak on this again" moments.
I found topless pictures of my mom as well when I was a kid which my father had in his desk. It *was* traumatizing to be sure. I'm wondering if part of what you're feeling is that your mom was purposely exposing herself to the world, you know? Moms rank in society similar to holy beings whose sexuality is something we NEVER want to think about. Kinda like that SNL joke "I'm not a woman anymore! I'm a MOM!"
You get over it by putting it out of you mind. You've seen naked women before who weren't your mom, right? Either in porn or movies or anatomy magazines? Never thought that that was someone's mom, sister, daughter, etc. Just consider that the mom you know is the one who's loved you all her life. Treat it like the awkward family moment it was, and just let it go.
You've seen her naked before when you were a baby, and she's likewise seen you that way too. Just consider that THIS part of her (her sexuality) is how you got here, and then put it out of your mind and, like Emilia Clarke said, make it a "Let's never speak of this again" or in America, a "Don't ask, Don't tell" subject.
You *will* recover. I promise.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (27 September 2014):
 We live in a strange culture, where televised violence and gore of all kinds are routinely acceptable but the very breasts that nurse children are cause for censorship and alarm!
Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing distress over this. Your feelings are understandable, especially if her part in this film was a complete surprise to you.
That said, it is worth noting that your mum was once a young woman herself, and that she too discovered the same freedoms you are exploring as you grow up. I know none of us really like to think of our parents as sexual beings in any way (I personally joke that mine only made love three times, once to produce each of their three kids) but the truth is that they grew up with many of the same temptations and impulses young adults have today. Your mum was young and beautiful, and she probably knew it. Maybe she needed the money; maybe she was hoping the film would be her big break into stardom. Maybe she was brave enough to bare her breasts and feel freedom, not shame.
This was an awkward discovery for you, I'm sure, but you're not alone, and you won't be alone. For every woman who just had nude photos leaked, for every sex tape that's ever been posted to the Internet for anyone to see, for every porn film an actor or actress ever goes on to regret, there's an awkward moment just like yours waiting for loved ones who may unexpectedly stumble across these things someday. As technology advances, privacy recedes - right or wrong, that is the direction in which our society is headed. And it's worth noting that every scantily clad female you see in a film or a magazine or a music video is someone's daughter, someone's sister, and yes, probably someone's mum.
If this continues to bother you, you may wish to discuss it with your mum. Tell her you saw the film and see what she has to say about it. Please note that as an adult woman in control of her own body she did nothing wrong in choosing to take the part, and so this is not a choice for which she owes you a defense or an explanation, though she may well opt to provide one if she sees that you're upset about it.
If you don't wish to speak of this to your mother or are unsatisfied with the response (if any) that she gives you and continue to be troubled by this, you may also wish to seek professional assistance from a family or school counselor to aid you in addressing the feelings this incident has sparked.
Hope this helps. Good luck and best wishes!
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