A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Normally oral sex will work every time. But recently it seems she can't orgasm. I've tried different techniques (including the ones that worked before). She will get close but can't get over the edge. She'll rest for a minute or two, then ask to continue but she complains after a short while that she can't get he feeling. Then she'll get angry and say she's bored, lie there and refuse to kiss me and then reposition herself so she can sleep (completely ignoring me). A couple of days ago before she left for her trip, I was awoken by her hitting me in the face. All of this just after I lost my full time job (the company went broke) and I was worried about not finding another job in time before having to return to Australia. I left the room for a bit to get away and try to calm down.In the morning she could see how upset I was and apologised for her temper and said that she shouldn't be taking her anger out on me because it was really her fault as well that she couldn't get the feeling right. She mentioned that as her bf, she shouldn't be treating me that way. Still I think it was a bit over the top.Now I understand that she must feel frustrated and upset when she cannot orgasm, when I can't get her there after a while I'll stop so that it doesn't get too uncomfortable for her (or at least to give her a break for 5 or 10 mins) and try to hug/kiss her and be close to her. But like I said, she'll lie there eyes closed and refuse to kiss me. So at that point I was going to give up, she could see how upset I was and then pulled me to hug me.In many ways she shows that she loves me and constantly says that she does. But it's like I'm letting her down in a big way just because every once in a while I can't get her to orgasm.I think it's psychological pressure - her job is very demanding and she has to remember a lot of things and has a lot of responsibility!But as time goes on, I'm beginning to question how much she cares about me. I know she does care a lot and can feel that! But I feel inadequate enough to satisfy her sexually and emotionally (like I'm not interesting/funny enough or cannot turn her on as much)...I want to engage in more foreplay but she's strange and just wants to get straight to the oral sex to get the feeling of orgasm...throws out the idea that most women want to spend a bit of time being teased and turned on.
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female
reader, KeighleySky  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 She hit you in the face whilst you were sleeping, i mean provocation or retaliation maybe i would just surpass it but you were sleeping. It is probably the stress of her job that's stopping her from orgasm, but she has no right to hit you for it.
If my boyfriend ever hit me because i couldn't satify him i'd leave straight away and this is what i suggest you do, this abusive behaviour over the fact that she cant orgasm anymore through oral sex, even though you're trying you best is only the start. Imagine if she gets angry if you can't orgasm fast neough, what will she do then?
It isn't just woen who are abused in a relationship, men get abused too. If i were you i would either leave my partner or i would tell them that they had to calm down and stop taking their frustrations out on me.
Good luck :) x
A
female
reader, Lotsalove.  +, writes (24 June 2010):
 If she's going to keep having a strop everytime you cant make her cum then she isnt worth being with. I know it can be frustrating to be so close, but not pushed over the edge, but like you said.. she's phsycologically ruining you! At the end of the day you are trying your best, you could be the typical man who refuses to give oral at all so she should count herself lucky.
Maybe you could change your technique, Put your fingers inside her whilst your busy with your tongue. And when she's close, try and stay in the same place, make sure you dont make any drastic moves as this can cause the whole build up to turn off. If she cant appreciate you at least trying and doing your best, then she isnt worth being with! She needs to respect your efforts!
Good Luck :)
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