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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi i really need advice concerning feelings i'm having.I'm 16 and have always fancied girls tbh. There is this guy i know who is 38 and married with a child, i met him september 2005 for the first time i didn't think anything of him attraction wise as he was,well, a man and i absolutely loathed him for his self-loving,quite frankly,nasty attitude. Anyway a few months down the road i started to realise i was looking at him differently and began to feel attracted to him i brushed it off but then i realised i didn't fancy girls anymore, but i didn't fancy any guys but him either! Then i few months back he started flirting with me and it really turned me on, but i still hate his guts and only like him physically. I really need advice because not only can i not stop fantasising i can't feel attracted to anyone else. is there something wrong with me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): Ok, well how is your relationship with your step dad, close? If he does not mistreat you in anyway you might try spending some alone time with your dad so that you can get to know him better and feel a bit more bonded to him so that you don't feel like you need that fatherly attention from some guy that wants to have sex with you but may not be appropriate for you....
If you have issues revolving your real father's abscence, you may need to speak to a therapist about it to work through those things, this is a very healthy thing to do and shows great inner strength, not weakness on your part...there isn't anything wrong with you, but like all of us humans, you have some issues that can lead you down the wrong path if you are not aware of them, so ask for some help it will do you a world of good.
Take care of you, you are the most important person in the world to you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): i'm the original poster- No i haven't seen my father since i was 3 but i have a step dad
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2007): You sound like you are quite confused about your sexuality, which is not uncommon I guess at your young age....perhaps you have some issues revolving around your father and your relationship with him or lack there of and hence you are confused about an attraction to an older man that you do not like....do you get along with your dad?
I would sugget speaking to a therapist about these things that are concerning you so that you can get to the bottom of some of your concerns and to help sort out some of these confusing feelings you are having.
Remember feelings are just that feelings, they do not become reality just because you feel them and you don't have to choose to act on all of your feelings either...just take note and do some thinking about what your values are and what you would like to accomplish in your life and guide your decisions based on those things that you think you need to make you feel happy with yourself.
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