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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've known he was going to Afghanistan since the middle of last year and when i found out i was devastated. I know people are probably thinking "oh, get over it" and that other people have to deal with it everyday, but i'm so frightened and the closer it's getting the worse i feel.He's going in September and i just have this sense of dread that something terrible is going to happen to him.Does anybody have any words of advice or experience with this? Do a lot of people come home ok or should i prepare for the worst? I'm so upset. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help. I will try and stay positive. I guess it's because it's out of my control and there's nothing i can do.
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 It's normal to feel that way. First deployments are the hardest, your chomping at the bit when it comes time for them to leave, and bawling your eyes out hoping that they'll be ok. The more they assure you, the more you don't believe it.
These are specifically trained men and women going overseas..they go through months, years worth of training, tests to get there. The military just doesn't send over anyone who knows how to shoot a gun.
If it makes you feel any better I have a childhood friend over there now, and he gets on Facebook during the day then is off to work at night. In fact, him and his brother just came back home after the holidays. Both Marines and spent a year over there. A lot of people I talk to, say there's really nothing going on over there, and that they're bored. It's not as bad as it sounds.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know any other military people, really. He's not my husband or boyfriend, we sort of dated briefly but still talk a lot. I was hoping something might happen with us in the future but now the closer it's getting the worse i feel.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 January 2011):
Oh honey, 6 months will fly by in no time! My husband is leaving this March for a year. I'm an army wife, and this will be my first deployment with him.
I also forgot to mention that there are online support groups for military spouses and girlfriends. There's one on base but it's for the military wives. I would google your area and see if any come up. Are you friends with any military wives? They can also offer you support while he is gone.
Feel free to PM me, if you have any questions, comments, worries.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's for 6 months. Yes, this is my first time dealing with something this huge and i just have no idea what to expect.
Thank you for answering.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 January 2011):
http://icasualties.org/oef/
That's the statistics for Afghanistan. Don't worry, they're far more likely to attack the Americans. Really, there's not a whole lot going on in Afghanistan, the dust is rather settled.
Is this your boyfriend, husband going? How long is his deployment? 6 months, a year?
I'm guessing this is also your first deployment too. He'll be able to talk to you via, cellular phone( he can purchase on of those prepaid ones for a steal), landline on base, good old fashion snail mail, and the internet. The landlines are usually tied up because you have everyone in your unit trying to call family, and loved ones..so the best bet would be the internet. Although that is spotty and isn't the best connection. Don't fret, if you don't hear from him in a couple of weeks, he's most likely out in the field and is unable to contact you at this time.
How to keep yourself sane while he's away: Keep yourself extremely busy, extra hours at work, take on more classes at school, new found hobbies and interests, surround yourself with family and friends, keep a diary or a blog of your thoughts, and send him care packages full of his favorite items.
It's normal to be afraid, and scared for him. But keep in mind there's nothing you can do about when duty calls. You just try to buck up and do your best. Remember you fully support him in serving his country and have no doubt that in your mind that he will come back in one piece. Leave no room for negative thoughts, and before you know it you will be welcoming him home.
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