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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok the shortest way i can put this is that i think i really like my boyfriend but im not yet in love with him. i dont know what it is but it seems that when i am not with him i want him so bad and i feel that i really wanna be with him. but then when im next to him its like i dont understand what the big deal was and that we're not that great together but then as soon as im away from him i want him next to me again. i think im quite shy around him and im not 100% myself. why am i feeling this way? do i really like him? please help i dont wanna make a mistake and lose him!! we've been together for 3 months.
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female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (5 April 2009):
its ok to be confused! youve stated that you dont want to loose him so you understand that you want him in your life, thats a start. Be honest with him, this will help you in two ways, one you will be more yourself and open with him and 2 by telling the truth your not making a mistake!
only you can answer your true feelings for him, i think deep down you do love him but your so focused on how it should be and what a 'normal relationship' is that your missing the qualities of your own relationship. Spending time together is only a part of what its all about, its the memories the fun tha laughs everything that comes included with it, thats what you need to find.
All you can do is be honest with him. If your not yourself with the person your with then somethings is not right, something is missing and only you can work out what it is, you know your mind and your relationship but he can support you once he knows. He too may be finding it difficult with some aspects and he doesnt feel he can talk to you about certain things, you both need to open that emotional door where you can be yourselves with each other!
3 months has got to mean something, this is just the begining, it doesnt have to be all serious have some fun first and if you feel he may be more than you expected thats when you go up to the next level and get serious, dont run too soon. Talking to him will help you, pluck up the courage its the only way forward and the only way for you to have a relationship, that is if you really want one...
good luck
A
female
reader, nowisforeverx  +, writes (5 April 2009):
Okay, so you're 16/17 right? Well you're quite young, and I'm guessing that you haven't had many relationships - so it is natural to feel like what you're feeling. You're confused about this guy, and that's natural. I mean I, personnaly, believe that you cannot "love" someone at your young age - for the simple reason you haven't experienced that much. :)You say that when he's not with you, you really want him. Could you just be lusting after him and thus getting the two emotions getting mixed up? Love and lust are simpler but also very different. You're not 100% yourself around him? Have you tried speaking to him about the way you feel around him? I mean he makes you feel shy, why? Does he intimidate you or something? Or are you simply young? I've been in your situation - I found that writing down two lists down. One for why you "love" him and one for why you don't really "love" him about the way you feel about your boyfriend. If the 2nd list is longer than the good list then maybe it's time to say goodbye, because it's not fair to drag this boy through a relationship you're having doubts about. Every person has a moment like this in their lifetime, find a relaxing place where you won't be bothered for a few hours and just think; about him, you, your relationship etc.Hopefully this is helpful, and sorry for the bad grammar - English is my 2nd language. :)
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