| A
age
41-50,
*
writes: Hello every1Im a troubled wife who is fed up with my husband's addiction with sex. Just recently in December, I've learned that my husband talks to a female that he met in March 2007. He also tells me that he's been watching this female masturbating while he's outside of her apartment.In the beginning of our relationship, I knew that he was into porn, but not this interested in sex this heavy. He's on the chatlines,on the internet, saving explicit picture of other women that his female friends sends to him on his email account, as well as on his cellphone. I tries to tell him to go get some help, but he denies it ,or he say that he will get help if that makes me happy. I want to divorce him(8yr difference im 28 he's 36) but we have a son together. It will break my heart to drag my son through this mess. Now 'im not into having sex with my husband anymore because I'm thinking he has cheated off on me with someone and he won't tell me at all. I need some suggestions on how to improve the marriage or should I just take my son and run for the hills?!?
View related questions:
divorce, porn, sex addict, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx 4 evry1 who answered my questions. I'm feeling a little better now and I"m going to pursue for divorce if he doesn't get help. There's anotha question to be asked shortly : )
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): If he won't seek help for his sex addiction, I feel you will have no choice but to leave this marriage, dear. He is a husband and a Father and he is responsible for contributing to the happiness and solidarity of his marriage and family. He's no longer doing that anymore. You can't trust him, you will lose great respect for him if you haven't already and...your love for him will dwindle to nothing, over time. You will become bitter, angry for this husband who puts his wants and desires ahead of you and your child. It's time to look after you and this little boy.. Your husband's sex addiction and his weakness should not be in the middle of a marriage. If he doesn't want counseling I am sorry...there is no hope. If he won't do this for you and his family, then he is he is in the grip of this addiction. This is a very sad thing in a lot of marriages when one of the two spouses acts out with behaviors that can and will contribute to the destruction of their marriage. And even more sadder, is he knows exactly what this is doing to you.
When one is married, they are always obligated to bring their healthiest and most loving, generous self ...to the other and vice versa. He has totally devalued and disregarded you and his child and has completely forgotten this. It's time to set a hard and fast rule...either he gets help or you walk. If he decides to get help and to stop all these behaviors' and stick to the plan, then he mustn't waver or you will never trust him again. My heart goes out to you-you don't deserve all this. Please take care of you and your son. Good luck, hun!
...............................
A
female
reader, yoginipirate  +, writes (9 April 2008):
 Oh my goodness! Ok, first- don't have sex with him again without a condom. I mean this. If he's got all this activity going on, you're probably right. He is probably cheating on you. What's the deal with him watching that woman outside of her apartment? For real?! Did he tell you that so you didn't think he was sleeping with her? You know, maybe he was admitting to something minor, to seem innocent of major screwing around? Also, sounds like he's not "interested in sex"- EVERYONE is. Passing around the naked pics & chatting with all these women. Girl, he is cheating on you & hard, and often. You answered your own question. You need to be worrying about being around to raise your son...meaning not catching anything off of him that could kill you.
For argument's sake, let's say he's not cheating on you. Why was he standing outside that woman's apartment. Did she know he was there? If not, that's criminal. If so, they had a sexual adventure. Why did he tell you about it? Something smells WAY wrong.
I know how you feel to not want "to drag my son through this mess." but you're not the one doing the dragging. Daddy is. Another thought, if he's disrespecting you- do you want your son to end up like his dad? No matter what you do, kids learn from what they see. You're a young woman. Maybe you could find someone who appreciates you & isn't acting a fool. Ask yourself, would you be happier alone than in this nonsense? If the answer is yes, haul it. You'll be a better mom if you're happier & dad can do his part from a different house. Your son will be better off if you put him first by taking care of yourself too.
Another option is an open relationship (with condoms always)...to say, have at it...do whoever you want. But so will I (whether you want to or not---point is you have the same freedoms he does- if you choose). The response should be interesting.
Point is he's addicted same as if it was booze or drugs or gambling or whatever. He needs help...but you look out for you and your boy, first. Especially from the AIDS standpoint. It's a very real threat to you. Any more info you wanna give will help narrow down some advice.
...............................
|
