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51-59,
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writes: I have been seeing this guy for 3 mths and I'm ready for an exclusive relationship. I don't think he's seeing anyone else but I can't be sure. What do I do? I don't want to scare him off. Is it too soon to get to this level? I've been playing it cool so far and it's working but I'm getting impatient. I think about him all the time. Thank you for your help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): What's the big rush? Three months is not very long at all. You're still in the early stages of getting to know one another.
If you are sexually intimate, then presumably he is not seeing anyone else - nor should he be (you either). Its one thing to date casually, but the expectation is that once sex occurs, you stop seeing others. I suppose you could ask him casually if he is dating anyoneother than you - i.e., Sandra78 has a good suggestion how to go about it - and see what he says.
(If he tells you he IS seeing others, won't that tell you whether he's ready to be exclusive or not?)
Beyond this, just relax a bit more and continue to enjoy one another's company. Three months is really nothing!!
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female
reader, triedit  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 I think you should tell him you are ready to commit to seeing him exclusively. And just leave it at that. Don't ask him to make the same commitment. Make sure he understands you are just talking about YOUR OWN feelings and that there is no pressure for him to feel the same way.
Unless of course you would have an issue with him not being ready to be exclusive. If you do, then you're really not ready for a relationship with anyone.
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female
reader, sandra78  +, writes (9 March 2009):
A sure fire way to find out if he wants to me exclusive is mention in a casual conversation that someone else is interested in you. It could be so subtle like " oh.. So and so said I look hot today in this outfit." Or " so and so asked if I wanted to go get something to eat this weekend".. See what his reaction is. If he seems to not care, then he's probably not ready for an exclusive situation. If he takes intrest in the fact that he may have some compition, that is a green light to ask if he wants to progress in the relationship and not see other people.
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