A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello, How can I stop thinking about this woman? 5 years ago I met a girl who I fell for, she was leaving the country to go back home, we spent a month getting to know each other but nothing happened. I didn't let on my feelings and I thought over time I would forget about her, I truly don't think she is interested in me, although we have some contact via email. We are both in relationships. But I have not stopped thinking of her for over five years, it is debilitating how my mind can think only of her some days, I dream about her when I sleep and obviously it is not fair on my partner now.This has bothered me for so long and I have told no one, any advice for moving on? I have tried taking up new hobbies, I have a busy and interesting life, but still she is in my mind. Thanks for any words of advice you can give Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): As an outsider on the situation, i only have the information you have given, and therefore believe that it would be right for me to say that i don't think you will ever stop thinking about this woman unless you know what it's like to be with her in any sort of relationship. I met a guy on holiday a few years back, and we had contact via letters [the days before emails haha] but then we lost touch, and everyday i think about him, again in the 'what if' situation, but i'm slowly beggining to move on and believe that if i was ever meant to be with him, i ill eventually be. I'm notone for sitting around though, and if i ever do decide i need to be with him, i can make contact. You have an advantage in the way that you are still in touch with her, and although you are in a relationship, i think you should ask this woman if you can meet up with her, and simply be honest about how you feel. If she tells you that she feels the same then it is upto you both to decide what you need to do in order to avoid hurting anybody's feelings and in order to make it work. If not, i think it's silly to throw your relationship away for the sake of something which 'might have been'.
You need to think about whether or not you will regret not telling this woman how you feel, and if you think for a second that you will regret it, you need to tell her!
Whatever you decide to do, i sincerely hope that everything turns out okay, and nobody gets hurt. Again, the best of luck xxx
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