A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A connumdrum. I am 40 he is 24. We fell in love and then out of love, and now we are having a relationship. It has been nearly a year now and we are still together. At 24, he comforts me, supports me mentally (other, i get from my work)he satisfies me, but we both have not been out as we both are conscious at times about our age gap and I do not know if either of us will get past that. He is always changing and growing which is fun, as do I. In addition to, each time I leave him he convinces me to return. When were alone we do not feel the age gap and have great laughs. Should I stay with him and see if the age gap syndrome go away? We have been together for nearly a year now, and he is younger than me. He is always making all the plans about when, where etc, and always deciding how far to go in our relationship. He additionally plays alot of hard-to-get tricks. Therefore, do any of you think that behind teh back of his mind would he be trying to get me pregnant as it is on his mind but not on mine. We have always used condoms and now we are hardly ever using condoms and are sexually more active.[mod note: combined multiple questions from same poster into one]I am nervous about letting him take the control in our relatinship as, regardless of my age, he still thinks of himself as a man, and often states that I made him a Man. I do not know what I have over younger women? Can you tell me. Anyway, back to my question, he wants that I listen to him 100% however I am nervous and do not want my nerves to push him away. He asked me to marry him last week and I do not know if he was serious or not, and if this is on him mind often. This week alone, it has been as though he cannot get enough of me. Who knows anything about masking? As, if this is on his mind, I do not want to lose him, but would like to find a way rather than just being forward and saying it, as sometimes i say things and he is sucha 'I am Man', it is almost like he isn't listening, but does take it on board. With regards to marriage, this is the second time that he has asked me. Is he serious, because if he is, it would make me the happiest woman in the world. He is a Yes/No, type of guy and I would like to know, 1. What am I doing to make him feel this good and I am very shy, therefore 2. How do I know how to act as part of his culture. How do I drop hints that I would ike security etc and when will he pop the question with a ring?it seems like everytime we get to stages where normal couples in love would start to settle, he purposely reconfigers his mind to stop settlement. I want to know how much does he love me? We are taking out relationship slowly but are with eachother every day, and I am at the stage where I am trying to figure out what makes him happy on a permanant basis, as he has asked me to marry him twice (I do not know if he is serious or not because of his family culture). How do I wait and or find out if he is really serious about marriage? And if the answer is yes. How do I start to learn about him as a Man of culture. He is from Eritrea and is a dominant character.
View related questions:
condom, fell in love, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2009): Something about your story doesn't sit well with me. If it were me I would slow down with the relationship (and yes, get on some good birth control unless you're trying to make a baby).You say he's from another country? Does he have British citizenship? (I'm not sure if Eritrea is a commonwealth country)He doesn't just want to marry you to gain British citizenship? That would be my first alarm-bell.The other biggie is the control factor (playing hard-to-get, for example). Does he act bossy? Might just be him-- as you say, he's a dominant male-- but you need to have strong self-esteem with a person like that, otherwise you could turn into a doormat. Another thing I would worry about is, if you two were to marry, would he change and become even more controlling, would he have expectations of you as a wife that he doesn't expect from a girlfriend? My sis married a guy who had a "madonna/whore" complex-- once he married her she was okay for cooking and cleaning and taking care of him-- the fun sex he got from his girlfriends!Sorry if I'm sounding so negative, but I think it's better to be safe than sorry. At least you can go further with your eyes open.
|
