A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Question mainly directed at guys but of course females can give their input too :)I just wanted to know, have any of you ever cut your ex out of your life without any "warning"? As in, you never said that you didn't want any more contact, you just stopped replying to messages and stuff. Or has anyone ever had this happen to them?Also, have you ever done this [cut someone off] and still missed your ex? But just did it because you thought it was for the best? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): The last ex cut contact abruptly with me. It hurt very much because I was a foreigner in his country and met him while studying there. The last year out of 2 together was pretty rough for me (housing, financially, end of school) and he didn't have much stress.Towards the end of the 2 years together I had to decide whether to come back for another year and see how the relationship goes so that he doesn't feel stressed to marry or stay home. He said for me to come back. He even went with me to my homecountry. After 2 weeks back he found a stupid reason to cut it completely. I got a hit in the head right when I was about to relax. Months passed and I thought everyone is human, let's get in touch. Wrote him, got cold responses. Later on...found out that for 4 months before the break up he initiated and had constant contact with the previous ex who supposedly had cheated on him and...moreover...a week after we came back from my homecountry he met another one and for a week before the break up he was in contact with the ex and extensively with the new one. In the meantime, the cheating-ex cut him out too. I needed a simple "I'm sorry I haven't been correct" and went to him for that. I just alluded to what I found out. He never admitted it, moreover tried to belittle me more and more. So I let him be. I found it pathetic that after almost a year from the break up he wasn't capable of saying a simple "I'm sorry" and kept defending himself.In the meantime, I'm still the same foreigner who came back to this country because I loved this guy. Maybe it's just me fantasizing that at some point we are all capable taking responsibility for our own actions.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): Guys do the no contact thing, because its supposed to be easier to move on. My ex gf cut me out of her life "without warning" and God I miss her sooooooooooo much!!!! Its been 2 months and all I do is cry my eyes out.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (23 October 2010):
 It is kind of the worst thing you can do to woman - simply refuse to respond. We don't believe they could actually do that and not cave when they think of how bad we must be feeling. Because we couldn't do that to them! But they can to us, because they are wired differently. Mind you, that different wiring is also why we like them in some ways.
So ... I guess you have to just put it down to experience, and be ultra careful about who you choose next time. : ( Sorry, but I think it will probably only happen to you once. Be very careful where you put yr heart. xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses :)
Mrvhappy - I asked because my ex-boyfriend just cut me off, we broke up and did the "let's be friends" thing for 2months and then he just stopped responding to my messages and stuff. And when I texted him a couple of times to ask if we could talk one last time and clear the air and stuff, he never responded. I'm starting to move on but I was just wondering what went through a guy's mind when he does this and what the reasons may be.
Thanks Natasia, you make sense lol, yeah it's a shame that some people do this but I guess it's just seen as "the easy way out" or whatever :/
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (22 October 2010):
That is a totally typical, common male way to deal with a relationship that for whatever reason they have decided is not what they want any more. They can't cope with discussion/crying/pleading/etc, - ie, anything that will make them feel guilty - so they just cut it off completely and then, literally, forget about it.
Sorry : (
That's just the way they are. Doesn't make it right, and it sure as hell hurts, but that is what they do. And I'm sure possibly sometimes have some vague regrets, but the advantages to them of not having to hear the misery they have created and of having their freedom outweighs anything else ...
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A
male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (22 October 2010):
Hi,
I'm ashamed to say that I once did that to an ex. It was a complicated relationship and we had to hide our feelings for each other due to the circumstances.
I had to do it as the stress of the relationship was getting to me.
Unfortunately I having feelings for her, she pretends/tries to hate me but I know she still has feelings for me ....judging by her actions (long story)
Yeah I'm sorry that I ended it but I had to.
Why do you ask the q?
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