A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hey,Got a question about how str8 guys act.i`m a gay man , i`ve written before about this guy, but theres more unsure things about him , or maybe i`m just confused about how the str8 mind works lolthis guy makes it clear that his girlfriend isn`t that special to him, and even the sex , he`d rather just have a blow job, and she left afterwards that`d be ok....sad i know.he even says he doesn`t love her,and isn`t into that , but i know for certain hes told her he does love her , don`t understand why he wouldn`t want to tel me this - if you were a confidnet str8 guy , why would you not want to tell another guy friend u love your girlfriend?well the sexual inuendo has increased with us , he seems to show up everywhere i am, he talks about getting blow jobs and would like to have it everyday if he could.he likes to be around me alot, and even wants me to tag along during outings with the girlfriend to give my opinion of her.like i said in my other post , maybe i`m just seeing what i wanna see , and the rest maybe i don`t understand.feel free to tell me to move on and forget this one!thanx
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female
reader, pepper27  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Like I did say hunny he may be testing the waters (I did say that eh!) Oh well Im saying it now, You may be right with the way he has been brought up the quick marriage and he may have just conformed to his familys way of thinking which isnt unusual, My son is bi I new before he told me and I just told him hey I no mate no problems you are what you are as long as your happy. If someone is brought up and told this they can relax..He may never have been able to relax, He doesnt no that you are gay for sure hunny? Why not tell him if he has brought up the subject before what have you got to loose, You may then find out if he is this way and scared to say it or he is just fishing to see if you are..TAKE CARE HUN LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx for all your answers,
i know deep down all who think i should stay away from this guy cause he sounds like hes into head games , i do get it , and yes it does seem like hes messed up.
i`ve gone through this so much in my head, and maybe i`m too attached to really have the right answer myself, but i do believe that even though he goes about things the wrong way that hes not intentionally trying to play head games.
hes gone through a 10 yr marriage that sounded like your classic mistake marriage , stayed with a woman he didn`t love or really have anything in common , due to her becomming pregnant early on and he chose to do the right thing.
he was rasied in a very stern household, tasught to always do things the "hard way" and that alone would make any guy be afraid to let any "gay" feelings come out.
its way too much to write hear , but i get a sense that the upbringing and then the marriage and kids , was brought on before he had a chance to see what he would have wanted for himself, and the friendship he has in me, (in a short period of time) has shown him things he didn`t know existed in other people , and the side i see of him is different than what he shows to other people , makes me think that he actually knows i`m gay , and this is the only way he knows to kind of get me to come out to him - as i know he wouldn`t feel comfortable asking anyone there sexuality.
so possibly all the sexual teasing is an effort to make me feel better about saying , hey , i`m gay u know , are u feeling like this as well?
i do know hes cool with gay people , hes said hes well aware that gay people are born that way , and hes never said any homophobic things.
and even this current girlfriend hes asked me if i think hes just "settling" because even he knows there relationship isn`t based on very much.
i think its 1 of 2 things.
1. hes devious and capable of using people to get what he wants.
2. hes with her, who is alot like the woman he maried , and hes thinking that lifestyle is what hes supposed to be involved with, cause he was raised to be str8 and do things a certain way.
any thoughts?
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (19 June 2008):
Hi Hunny
It sounds to me like he doesnt no if he is able or mable he talks wrongly about his g/f to you but tells her he loves her. He talks openly with you of b/js knowing you are gay so hint hint!!!Would be my thought on this, Maybe he is curious hunny, Id be carefull it sounds as if he doesnt no what he wants and its all abit wierd..You could end up saying something and get told to "f off Im not that way" head games love TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 This guy sounds a bit of a mess, actually. He's into playing head games with you and his girlfriend. Do you really want to get involved with him?
I'd personally back off and let him say whatever he likes, while remaining as neutral as possible. A little bit of clear-headed observation over the next few weeks should give you some more insight into his mind and his character.
Watch he's not looking for a reason to beat you up, that's my private concern for you...
Take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Move on and forget this one.
Even if he wants a blowjob he has a girlfriend and should be getting it from her. Sounds like he's leading you on and making promises he can't keep. You deserve better than being his dirty little secret who he cheats on whilst he has a girlfriend at home. Find yourself a guy whose available and able to treat you with the respect you deserve.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (19 June 2008):
 I think you are seeing what you want to see.
But if you don't ask him, you'll never know. Next time he says he wants a blowjob, offer to give him one.
He'll either say yes, no, or something ending in "off".
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