A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had been in a problem of fancying about love a lot.I must say that I am a shy kind of person and short tempered sometimes but get well while flirting with classmate or joking around with mates.I am 22 and had never been in any long relationship except 1 very short 1 though. I try hard not to approve any short term relationship as i don't think that feelings can ever be volatile.I have got few crushes meanwhile, the 1st 1 in my school when i was 15 and he knew too but we never approached each other as I knew very well that its an infatuation and due to my nature or may be he too and though he was interested,not that much into me.I never had a crush in college life except few through net chatting and flirting.Even they turned up too,met them but they didn't took chance like that.Though I had never hidden my feelings from them,there were 2 such people.I met the last guy last year,we dated and he was too much into me and me too but things didn't work out properly and ended very badly.I got too much emotionally attached with it, spoken my heart out with him that found hard to turn my back but he did it with no regrets.He never gave me any good reason,only that he was scared that something might hurt me but that was not the issue as he behaved very rudely when i used to call him after break up and got another girl after 3 months. I can't understand whether I am having the problem of understanding them or they are turning into jerks because of me and my emotions?I have a very average look though i am not very much bothered but once i have found 1 of my male friend discussing about my look as not up to the mark and even my last boyfriend had once brought up this looks topic indirectly though I hardly pay heed to this, now i am concerned with both of the issues. I believed some were concerned about looks ,not all are.I wanted to ask does look really matter in love?The guy whom I have chosen till now got a tendency to jabber much just opposite to me.am I making a wrong choice?is it possible that the feelings get over in a true relationship if both love each other and strong enough to face the hurdles?or i should never hope for a long term relationship ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, JDinCali  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 If it feels wrong or very uncertain then he's not addressing your needs or you're not that into him. It's best to find a guy that you chime with well in the beginning; (compatibility helps you get through the rough times).
Try not to flirt in a sexual way at first, because that might send the wrong message to a guy or primarily a sexual one. Sure, winking and smirking are okay, but talking about sexual things really should be after all the initial getting-to-know you steps.
Love is an adventure! Don't worry so much about messing up, if you do, well, you're human like the rest of us. :D
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