A
male
age
41-50,
*t8381
writes:Where do i begin. I met this girl on a mates stag do last July in Barcelona. We were both single and not out looking for a relationship. But on that night are eyes met and that was it. Exchanged numbers at end of night with a kiss. Came home and the following fortnight we went on a date.We live an 1hour and 30 mins apart. I hadnt been on a date in 2years and she hadnt been on one for a while also. To cut a long story short because weve all been there. It was amazing. meeting someone who liked me for who i was and what i had to give. by the way i had 2 relationships previous that i was cheated on in.She was in a long relationship the previous year which she had to get out of because he didnt respect her and took her for granted. Well, as each month went on we couldnt believe ourselves with what we both had. Caught up in the moment of things she was looking at buying a new house. I was looking to move down to her part of country,but even before we met. Mid May, things got wierd. She was being wierd round me and i thought i had done something wrong. I confronted her, she said she didnt want me to move in. I said was that all.Thats what was on her mind. it lifted a great weight of her mind by telling me. She was worried by how i would take it. I was Ok about it. Shortly after that i started becoming a bit more clingy and over affectionate. Just think i was trying to over compensate that i wasnt moving in with her. Mad i know! She didnt like the fact that i was being like this. I then backed off! Got all of that sorted. Obviously relationships have there wee tiffs and arguements.Atfer all, were only human. Its June, She has just finished off the year teaching and moving into her new house all within the same week.Stressed out!! Got that out of way. Holidays season. Within the past month and half she was being very short with me and cracking up for no reason. Only way i can see it is that she likes things done a certain way and with me doing things different i thought it annoyed her. it may have! I said to her about this.she took it in and said she didnt mean to come across like that a didnt realise she was doing it.To sum it up. everything was great. Great girl, great family, great friends, great sex life. It was all good until.. On Monday, i text her telling her i would be giving her a call after work. she said great, fire away. Got on the phone and told her that all are stupid pointless arguments we were having should stop. not worth the hassle. to her reply. she asked me if i was happy, to which i replied.Of course 100%! ( obviouusly when we have fall outs you do get sad and that).She came back by saying that she is unhappy, Doesnt know why. Her feelings have changed towards me,Doesnt know why. She said that ive done nothing wrong its her problem. She said i dont deserve to treated like this i deserve better. I cant get my head round the fact that everything was great one day, the next its all over. My head is away with it. I want answers, i cant answer them, neither can she. She told me she is so sorry for hurting me and that cant explain. I hope i have explained the past year in that little story as clear as possible.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2009): I know that I am much younger than you are, and have had alot less experience with relationships, but I have been in a very similar situation. Dated two years, completely madly in love one day, and the next day he breaks it off. No argument, no fight, no other woman,no warning. I wanted answers for which he couldnt give me any. To this day, I still dont know why we arent together.
My advice to you is since you have already tried talking it out and trying to understand why she broke it off, back off a little. Give her some time and space to feel the effects your absence has on her life. Whatever you do, do NOT chase after her. Respect her decision and take some time for yourself. Evaluate the situation with a clear mind. If she realizes she made a mistake and comes back then you can go from there. But in the meantime, try to accept that people change their minds, and some people are very fickle when it comes to love and are constantly changing their minds. If she is that kind of person, do you really want to stay in an unstable relationship like that?
I hope this helped some, please let me know how it goes.
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