A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i neeeed soo much help... ive never asked for help but i need help... he recently cheated on me but realised he made the biggest mistake in his life and we have been tryna work things out ever since... the thing is i dont trust him and though i know its a long road in a way i wnna do it but dont believe i have the strenght to get over this... every time he goes out im at home in tears fearing of the worst and for that reason he gave up goin out.... but the problem is he still tells me little white lies and though its not the content of the lies its still a lie and set me back.... ive spoken to him about it and he says that he feels he cnt come to me with anything in regards to his ex (the person he cheated on me with). hes afraid il go mad and angry and that will lead to agruments... i have no idea what to do all i see is that we go our seperate ways, the probs is i love him soooooooo much and i know he loves me too, please someone give me some ideas about how we can make this work... my only answer is break up even though i dont want to.... pleassssee anyone
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female
reader, tweet bryd  +, writes (11 August 2009):
Let me keep it real wit you, my man of 6 years cheated on me wit some ugly chick he knew i couldnt stand and not just once but about for two months. She told on him because she wanted us to break up. I took him back its been seven months since it happend and i still cry, my mind still races with thoughts of why, was she better, whens the next time he's going to do this to me, all kinds of stuff, its sad just go why you can.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): I'm so sorry. I know how hard that kind of thing can be. I like Charlopp's answer.
And I'm really sorry if you don't like my story, but I would like you to hear it, as it takes a different approach to the other answers. It might help you.
A few years ago I was with my first boyfriend. I was totally in love with him and would have done anything for him. We were very close. We had been going out for nearly two years when he cheated on me. I was completely devistated and broke up with him. He showed me how sorry he was and too said that he had " Made the biggest mistake of his life" and "Thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to him".
To keep a long and painful story short we tried to fix the relationship over the next six monthes and now, I wish I hadn't.
He too lied to me, just little small white lies. We tried councilling, but everytime he kissed me all I could think about was the fact he had slept with someone else. It tore me to shreads and although I really wanted to make it work at the time because I loved him, I don't think it was worth the pain now.
I'm sad that you are in the same pain I was. I know it's hard.
In the end I broke up with him and after half a year I met someone else who I know I can trust completely, and I am much happier now.
You can mail me if you like!
Luck, Emivia
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (30 July 2009):
 You have to trust him in order for your relationship to work.
I know he cheated but you have chosen to forgive him so see it as a fresh start.
To make this work you need to reassure your boyfriend you do trust him and that he can be open and honest with you about anything.
Once you gain his confidence he will tell you the truth rather than telling white lies.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Hi. I don't know if this helps, but a while ago I did the same thing. Dumb as I was, I fooled around with another girl. And these kind of things is really hard to get over. For both parts. If he really loves you, he will never do such a thing again, thrust me, I know how bad you feel after you've done something like that.And my gf had the same problem as you. She felt like she could never trust me again.The advice I can give you is to just try to believe him, and don't think he is lying all the time. And also, try to let him explain and make sure he can tell you about it without you getting angry with him. Because if he feels you don't trust him at all, or that he can't talk to you he might find it hard to be in a relationship with you. Because it's not easy when the person you love the most won't even try to understand you, or let you tell how you feel.But then again. If he continues with the little lies and he makes it hard for you to trust him, it's not much you can do, except to break up.
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A
female
reader, Charlpop +, writes (30 July 2009):
 I know it's going to be hard, but perhaps breaking up might be a good thing. It doesn't have to be forever, but perhaps you could just give the relationship a break for a couple of weeks and see how it goes. Or you could both just talk about your relationship [drag him kicking and screaming into the conversation if you have to!] and evaluate how his cheating has effect where you both stand.The fact of the matter is that he DID cheat on you, and of course you're going to find it hard to trust him after that! I hate to make it sound worse, but he cheated on you with his ex, so it's not even as if it's just some random girl he doesn't and never has had feelings for. It doesn't help that he's continued lying. And lying is bad. Full stop. So, just try talking to him about it first of all, and then see where that takes you.Hope this helps.
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