A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello everybody,I'm much troubled with my baby's behaviour and i want to know if the things r normal? Or what i should do to improve the things?At the age of 34 i adopted a 3 1/2 months girl child from an orphanage. Since the beginning i found her crying horribly, spl.in the night hours at a very loud voice. It had been a toughest task to bring her up, perhaps she used to have severe constipation and tonsellitis problem. When she was around one yr. once while bathing her i noticed a slight swelling on her left shoulder. Later on it was diagnosed as to be 'tilted posture'. And all doctors said to wait and watch as it was something untreatable.My first querry is that Is there really no remedy for my daughter's problem?Secondly,she had been a hyper child. Myself Being working woman and a long generation gap between the two of us, I often find unable to understand her actions. Now she is 11 yrs, old,very indisciplined, misbehaving with parents and those who are close, always shouting, disobeying, quarreling with us at home, acting as to show off herself, lazy, selfish, stealing money, spreading the things, untidy, shameless, although, i wouldn't forget to state that she dances very well, but again her problem of tilted posture drags me behind in doing something important for her in this line also. She catches all bad deeds and refuses to accept the correct ones, though she understands what is wrong and what is right, yet she does so perhaps to irritate us more and intentionally. We have never ever told her till now about her adoption because of her overacting and overreacting attitudes. I am much scared that if she will not learn to give weightage to our words, she may easily get cheated or misused. How to make her understand. Our lectures and lessons are so foolish acts according to her. Our scoldings raise her arrogance. She even hits her father, and gets the same in turn, even then she is not ready to understand. It seems, she does all this purposefully.Pl. tell me, if now a days kids are like this? Are the things happening in our home normal?
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (14 July 2011):
How close is your relationship with her? It sounds like she is going through some difficult times (triggered by starting to become adolescent) Does she feel love and supported by you, and the family? Are you sure? It sounds like you need to address this ASAP as it is certainly not normal. If she is being so disrespectful, and even stealing at age 11 then she is heading for trouble which will get a lot worse as she gets older.Maybe with her being adopted, she has unresolved issues relating to who her natural parents are, and where she came from? Have you been able to talk to her about this? Are you spending enough time with her? It sounds like you have some work ahead of you to turn this around, and it will start by investing time in figuring out what is wrong, and how you are going to fix it.
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