A
male
age
41-50,
*wsflash
writes:Hi I'm new to the site and have been looking around at all the posts and need some help myself.Ok, I met the girl of my dreams about 9/10 years ago and we fell head over heels in love and things were great between us. She was my soul mate and I was hers. She had 3 children from another relationship and things where good, I took the kids on as my own and loved them very much and still do to this day and have a lot to do with them still because their father was a real s@@t. After being together about 2 years we had our own first child together.Well 5 years after we had been together things started to go a little off the rails and we had a lot of fights and arguments that lasted for days maybe weeks at a time on both sides, and things where going south big time, so we split up !! I think by now she was fed up with me and I was fed up with her, and we were both very angry with one another. When we split up it ripped me apart, she really was my soul mate and I loved her no matter what had happened between us both, but after trying to make contact and work things out found that she was no longer interested and just wanted a clean break, it got to the point where I was having to send my father to pick my son up weekends and the only time me and her would speak was when we needed to change dates regards or child or things were needed by him from my side of the family or hers. This went on for some time and I did not see her and she didn't see me.Well about 18 months had passed and my Ex and her mother had to pick my son up from my house one Sunday, and so we saw one another for the first time in ages so it felt weird... My Ex picked my son up and we made small talk together then I kissed him bye and waved them away!! Didn't think any more of it, until 15 minutess after they had left, my Ex text me and said "Do U Still Love Me??" So I was a little taken back and answered Yes, but things are weird why you asking me this, she then text me back and said "Because I Love You And Always Have"Not long after this I started to pick my son up from hers and drop him back and we got to talking again, and made like a friendship and would meet up and have dinner, coffee ect.Now for the last say 18 months we have been friends and have being seeing one another and have got like a relationship back together, apart from one small thing.. I have asked her loads of times to go back out with me, and at first she used to say No ! straight out, but over the months she has told me lots of times that she loves me and thinks and feels a lot for me, but the time is not right for her to be getting into a being a couple.Now she will tell me that she loves me, and kisses me and I will be honest we have being sleeping together, but I don't feel that we are as close as we used to be, now she has told me that when we first met back up that she had a boyfriend at the time, but made it clear that this was now over between them, she told me that she could not be with him, because he was not me?? And she ended it with him...She gives me very mixed signals, everytime I try and walk away, she finds or does something that stops me.We talk almost everyday on text or by phone, we say morning to one another and goodnight, we talk a lot about different things, and even send love texts to each other ! The problem I have is with the mixed signal she gives me, and I get the feeling sometimes that the other guy is not fully off the scene.. I get the feeling that she wants the relationship but without all the strings.When I say, do you see us back together, she will say things like maybe in time, or soon.Sorry I know its a long post, but would really like it if people could help me out with this, as I feel like I have no one to talk to regards this issue.Thanks
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I love you, my ex, soulmate, split up, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, nwsflash +, writes (17 November 2007):
nwsflash is verified as being by the original poster of the question rockelle thanks again ! I guess youre right, its very hard and I have been there to help and support her when she needs it. Life just seems very complex
A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (15 November 2007):
 Now may not be a good time to lay it all out for her. This must be a very hard time for her so the best thing for you to do is be supportive, and give her a shoulder to lean on. Who knows this whole situation might make her open up her eyes that to the fact that life is short and when you have something wonderful standing in front of you.. Jump at the opportunity.I have a good feeling that things will work out for you. You have been patient with her this far so you do not need to rush her into making a decision right away. Good Luck keep me posted!
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A
male
reader, nwsflash +, writes (14 November 2007):
nwsflash is verified as being by the original poster of the questionrockelle
Thanks for your answer ! Your right I need to lay things out in the open once and for all.
Sorry a part I missed out, is that her father is not well at all he has very bad cancer and only a short time too live, they do not think he will make it till Christmas and I know this is true because I have been and seen him in hospital myself.
I guess the trouble is, do I lay things out now, why she has a lot going on or wait until things have happend ?? I guess with all the stress with her father due to pass away, I feel bad laying things out now.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (14 November 2007):
I think that you need to be very clear with her about what you are expecting from this relationship. It sounds to me like she wants to have the best of both worlds, and unfortunately that is not healthy for the relationship. Instead of waiting it out I would ask her to make a decision b/c obviously you are not satisfied with the turn that the relationship has taken. Its ok, but you want more. I do not blame you. You love her she has your child and it would benefit him greatly to have you with him full-time. The way this relationship is going you will not be able to move on until you clear up the situation you have with her. An amicable split is always what is best when children are involved and that is very hard to do when someone toys around with your emotions. So I would lay it out for her, and hope for the best. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (14 November 2007):
 maybe it is hard now, but you still have to do it. byeXXX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2007): hi there
1st you should know that the same thing happens for many of us
2nd i belive you might be wasting your time of giving and recieving love with another woman, 'cause had she loves you ,she wouldnt have been let you go away during those lonely years. she is just playing with you so take care of what you are doing with her.
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A
male
reader, nwsflash +, writes (13 November 2007):
nwsflash is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlilgirly thanks for the answer !
I agree with what you say, it just seems really hard.
Thanks
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A
female
reader, lilgirly +, writes (13 November 2007):
hey,
i think she might be playing with you! so tell her what you want! and if she doesn't accpet it then show her that you are gone! because now she is just playing with your feelings!
so be clear about what you want..... and stop making her play with you in this way!
good luck byeXXX
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