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male
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anonymous
writes: Okay so this one is a biggy for me.... A little background info: I am a junior in college and the girl I am dating just graduated. I have been waiting to go out with her for like a year and a half (I mean I went out with other girls in that time, I have just always wanted to with this girl) and 2 months ago it finally came. For me we're like the perfect match because I can't keep my focus on anything very long and that always destroys my relationships, but she's the same way so we're both kind of canceling out the other one, haha. The question that I have is: We're both in theatre and she has been at a shakespeare festival in another state. When I talked to her last she said that she just can't come back here becuase it would be too easy to stop moving foward in theatre. I completely understand that but I just don't know if I should take that as a bad thing or a preliminary "it's over" thing or what. It's a long distance relationship and I know they'er hard...trust me...but I'm just hoping that maybe she's just going through a phase of needing to break away from home and that's why she can't come back right now. If that's the truth, it concerns me that maybe I'll be dead weight for her. Let me know thoughts and suggestions on this becuse I'm seriously losing sleep over it, haha. Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot in the last response.... Should we talk about this over the phone? because the next time i'm going to get to see her and have the chance to talk about this face to face at earliest is June 30ish.....or does it not really matter?
thanks again :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yeah I've planned on talking to her about it, and you're completely right in saying any relationship that these kind of things can't be discussed in is little worthy the title relationship. I just wasn't sure if, becuase of the distance it was just one of those "all-in-the-head" things.
I have just been kind of going back and forth on when would be good, I think obviously the sooner the better, but on the other hand I really don't want it to seem like I'm bringing this up now becuase I want her to stay. Ultimately I don't want to be the thing that holds her back (although staying would be great), does that make sense, I'm not sure-- it does in my head though...haha.
What are your opinions with that?
P.S. -- thanks for the input, it really does help to kind of have an outside eye look at it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): Just because she wants to move forward in her career doesn't mean that she has decided to end her relationship with you. So, why not just flat out ask her (if it's over or not)? If your relationship isn't strong enough for you to ask that question, then I'd question if you have a relationship that is worthy of being considered a relationship.
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