A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm mad about this girl...I liked her for a long, long time. I don't know if she played games with me or just didn't know how to reject me a way to not offend me. She broke up with me on prom night in high school, and I flipped out on her two days after. She felt bad, so she came over to make out with me all the time. Then she felt uncomfortable, and she kept on lying to me...she wouldn't upfront with me. She then started saying my religion was wrong...so there could be nothing between us. I didn't ask another girl out (of her background and indian christian religion. that I felt could have worked out) in college...i did ask other girls out, but I was rejected. I am angry to this day bc of that girl...i wish god punishes her badly (like cancer or something...)...I know thats wrong, but thats what I think. I could have asked a girl (indian christian chick...which I knew would have worked out)....but I didn't because of that girl...I didn't want another bad experience....I know some of this can be confusing. I mean, I didn't ask girls out just for the hell of it...I could have hooked up, but I'm not like that. Now, that girl from high school has a boyfriend...it's not fair. :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): Being rejected can really hurt and I'm sorry you're still dealing with the pain and fear of that first time.
Something to be grateful for, is during this time where you don't have the obligations of a partner, you can collect useful information about what is a good partner and what is not.
Perhaps your energy can be shifted from what sours you about your first love over to what your plan is for success. In doing so, you may feel trust again, especially trust in yourself to choose a woman who would never dare judge you, lie to you nor disrespect you. You could decide, for one, to have nothing to do with those whom lie to you, and that right there may eliminate a great deal of future problems.
Remember that happiness with someone increases when you share the same values. The more values you share that are the same, the more your happiness and peace increases. So during your time of not having a girlfriend, you could assemble in your mind a list of values you want to share with your girlfriend, such as the same religious beliefs, or the same standards of honesty and so forth. I promise that once you agree to hold yourself to a standard of what you will never date, and what you do want, you may find it easy to forgive and try again...
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