A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'm looking for some guidance.The scenario involves 2 guys; lets call them Nick and Andy.I've known Nick for over a year, me and him have got very similar personalities and get on like a house on fire! Although, we have drifted apart in recent months as we aren't in same classes at college anymore. I'm sure he likes me (after what he told a friend of mine) which is great because I am extremely fond of him too, and have been since the first time I laid eyes of him. Problem is, he knew I liked him last year as I stupidly told him when we was drunk. He rejected me at the time (in the nicest way possible) so i decided to play it cool afterwards and acted as though I didn't like him anymore, i've managed to keep this act up ever since. I'm not sure if i give my feelings away through my body language? but i'll just assume that he thinks I don't like him anymore! Now the thing is, Nick won't make the first move and at this rate i'm not sure he ever will. I don't want to tell him my feelings again incase he rejects me, even though i'm certain he feels differently about me now I can't take that risk of expressing my love for him as he might not want a relationship? and I don't want to look like a fool AGAIN! We are quite shy and quiet around each other, he talks about me to my friends and he's even claimed that he's considered asking me out, but obviously he decided not to? I don't know what I can do, we are simply perfect for each other and everyone else says so too! To be with this guy would take SOME work, but i'm losing patience with him and am completely clueless as to how to take things further. The not-so-sensible choice is Andy. Unlike Nick, he is a very forward person and has asked me to go on a date with him. The problem is, he is 6 years older than me (i'm 18 and he is 24) - he showed up to my party and we got really close and kissed passionately, to the disapproval of my family who were all watching! They were very unhappy with me and claimed he is too old and that he was taking advantage. But I think he is a genuine guy, he is cousin's with a friend of mine and she told me he is a lovely man and her friend (who fancies him) said he's a great guy! Me and Andy talk alot online, I feel as though I know him really well. I think he would really look after me, being the mature person he is. But as said above, my family would highly disapprove of a relationship between me and this man. I don't want to upset anyone, yet I don't want to turn down an opportunity for love. I've had a tough few years, nothing has ever seemed to go right for me in the past. For once in my life I want to do the right thing for ME! I fell for a teacher which ended badly, the experience will always haunt me. Then just when I thought I'd found happiness with my boyfriend, I fell out of love with him and we broke up. For the few weeks that I was happy being with him, my life felt so complete! I had never been happier. I've been single for 6 months and really ready for a relationship, I need a man in my life lol. I know i'm coming across as desperate, but i'm really not, I've had many guys ask me out but i've turned them down because deep down I know they are not right for me. Nick and Andy are the only two that stand out, and can see myself happy with. But both are problematic choices so I have no idea what to do?Really hope a few of you can help me out here, I apologise for the length of this post. Any responses will be greatly appreciated. Also, a Happy New Year to you all!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your reply. You've given me more insight into how I feel, through your answer I've come to realise that Nick is the one I should be concentrating on, we are very compatible. I still have the same problem of how to move things forward between us, but hopefully fate will bring us together eventually. Thanks again xx
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