A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some really good advice. Please...My fiance and I have been engaged for about 6 months. We met one year ago. I realize most people will think that was way too soon to get engaged. It was a little fast but i don't regret it. I love her dearly and truely believe she is the love of my life.The problem is she gets very very moody and depressed often. These past couple of months she gets upset very easily and the problem is that she stays upset. For hours at a time, even days. Over little things. The only issue I have with that is we have different work schedules. She goes in at 8am and gets out at 5pm. I go into work at 6pm and get out at 4 am. You can see we have very little time to spend together. We have the everyday arguments couples have but they seem to be blown out of proportion. Yes, we argue. Both of us, but after we fight I tell her I just want us to be ok. I get over things rather quickly and she doesn't. She says she doesnt have an on/off switch like I do to just be happy all of a sudden. BUt there is no other choice. If I don't we will stay mad for hours and the whole day is wasted.Lately she says she has been moody because of her birth control pills. The hormones. She apologizes after, and this month even "warned" me because it was getting close to that time of the month.I understand it must be difficult but I don't think I deserve to be shut out like that. Like right now, we were on our way to get our passports and she got pulled over and got a ticket. While the cop was writing it out, she says, "if i get a ticket it's your fault for rushing me..." What? she asked me if we would make it before they closed and i said, "we are cutting it close..."So the whole drive home she didn't say a word and now she is in our room in bed, asleep. And I'm stuck out here. I tried to tell her, "its ok." but she just said, "I Dont want to talk about it!"Now hours, we could have spent together, we are apart. Its this kind of thing constantly. To top it all of this will probably last until I have to work tonight and we are going to start the New Year off fighting. I love her to death, but all this is making me question whether I want to spend my life like this.My work schedule changes every two months so it's not a permanent thing.Any advice? Thanks...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2010): Thanks for all the advice.
She changed pills and we're gonna see how that works out. I don't mind using condoms but she doesn't like them! Great, I know.
If nothing changes with a different pill; then my next suggestion is her getting off them completely. She just reacts like a totally different person.
If that doesn't work, then I will kindly suggest seeing a doctor. If he refuses or doesn't want too then I will definitely have to reevaluate things.
Thank you so much.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009): Is she ok with getting off the contraceptive? If nothing much changes after doing that, then I WOULD NOT marry her. You haven't been together for long. You are having doubts already. That is a red flag.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (31 December 2009):
 Birth control pills can cause REALLY severe mood swings. You'll just have to ask yourself if condoms are really so bad that it's worth your relationship. Some people just react badly to the pill. Sometimes you can try a new pill and it helps, other times not so much. I know people who have gone on the pill and pretty much completely lost their minds. Crying all the time over nothing, lashing out at and screaming at their partner for no reason, feeling suicidally depressed for no apparent reason, and severe paranoia. So try having her stop with the pill before you make any decisions about this. If after a month off the pill she's still not better you may have to re-evaluate things.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (31 December 2009):
Some women can suffer very badly from hormones, but she sounds like there's something that's really getting to her. All I can say is get talking to her about how she feels and listen. Something might come out, it might not. but she needs to open up to you, and if you want her to you need to have patience with her.
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