A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 years old and I've been with my Bf for 7 months (mind you this is my first bf) So the problem is I'm bored. We don't go anywhere And we only see each other at least once a week. When we do see each other we just watch TV and movies (and are intimate). He doesn't take me anywhere and he doesn't buy me anything(not even V-day or Christmas.)He says he doesn't have money or he's saying up. I also feel like he's gotten really comfortable in the relationship he doesn't think i will leave him (which i probably won't).There is no romance. To be honest this isn't how i pictured a relationship. I've tryed talking to him, all he says is he doesn't have money and what is he supposed to do?I can't bare to break up with him though I love him a lot we have know each other years before we got in a relationship. I think it would break his heart, and it would hurt mine as well. what do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you miss kin that was great advice
A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (10 April 2009):
 i disagree! i don't think ur being a pouty princess. ur a young woman in a relationship that has become slightly less than fulfilling. people can become complacent in a relationship and sometimes someone can get bored.
Try to make sure whenever you bring it up that you're not being critising, don't blame it all on him - in fact, don't blame anybody.
Tell him how you feel. tell him how bored you are. romance is an important part of the relationship.
Do something free or cheap, offer to pay yourself if you're really desparate. don't buy him anything if he won't buy you anything ever - tht is so not fair. its better to have nothing than to have giving be one sided. but be happy, not bitter, that you're not in a materialistic relationship.
Why not go for a picnic? that's free! And take a walk, have a nice talk.
Make sure you don't expect something amazing ALL the time - u might find u miss the simplicity of just hanging out together and enjoying the films and programs you watch. but talk a lot more. cuddle. kiss.
cook! have a romantic dinner *technically free if you go for a simple meal*, this can be different - add candles and nice music. relax together!
do something special that you wouldn't normally do, eat out in the garden together with candles and music and wine and have a wonderful time together.
If he's refusing to do things that don't cost money, maybe you should suggest moving on to yourself and to him - if you're unhappy, then something needs to change.
i hope this helped and wasn't too waffly! :) best of luck x
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI try to put effort in it, and i buy him things all the time
and im not being a bored pouty princess, i try to suggest things but I dont know what we can do
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): Well what you can do is sit down and think of things you two can do together that don't cost any money, or very little, and then suggest them next time he comes over. Or instead, tell him to meet you somewhere different for a change. Or maybe, you can get HIM a little gift, or surprise him with something special.The thing is, relationships take work. They don't just happen right without any effort. YOU need to pull your weight too. Perhaps he feels bad whenever you bring up something that takes money because he feels bad for not having too much money to spare. When you light a fire, it burns for a bit by itself, but then you have to keep adding fuel for it to carry on burning. If you take your eyes off it too long, it'll die down. And don't expect him to be a "prince charming" by being a bored and pouty princess! If you want a good time, make one.
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