A
female
age
36-40,
*amalopez
writes:Well I have a 2 yr old son with my ex fiance, we never really broke up he got deported to mexico and i had no way of getting hold of him for like 6 months. I became friends with this guy, I wasn't attracted to him but we just kept hanging out since I was lonely with a baby I guess. And we just kept getting closer and closer, he was doing everything for me and my son, treating him like his own. I told him about my fiance, but he just kept on helping out. My fiance came back but was really confused about the baby being his because one of his "friends" told him it wasn't his. So he said he was scared they were right even though he knows they are a liar. My friend asked me to marry him and I kinda felt obligated, but I didn't love him. So now we are married for a year and I have a newborn with him. I have tried to make this relationship work, I love him more than I did before, it just doesn't feel as much as with my ex. I was planning on leaving my husband for my sons father, but then i found out I was pregnant. And felt obligated again to stay with him. Now I fell if I leave I'll of just used him. I really care alot for my husband, but my ex and I still love each other very much. (there's more about my husband but that can be for later)
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (13 April 2008):
You have just used your husband. There is no denying it. You have now married him and you are having unprotected sex with him so you are stuck there for now.
Make the most of it with your husband. This Mexican guy needs to start paying for his child though. Get a DNA test and go through the courts if necessary.
The fact that you couldn't make it work as a long distance thing with Mexican guy says to me that you weren't that serious, or he wasn't that serious. You had email phone and post, you could have gone to visit him in Mexico.
But none of that happened. You were weak and let this new guy fall in love with you, and let him do everything for you.
If your marriage fails in the long term then it just wasn't meant to be, but you owe it to this guy to make a go of things for now and you definitely owe it to your kids to have a stable home for them and bring them up in the best way you can.
Once you have the baby, go on the pill or something so you have more control of your life.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, madflash +, writes (13 April 2008):
 WOW! Where's the theme music, Scarlet?
You're life is a freaky soap opera, 'As The Stomach Turns', or 'All My Children--Have Different Fathers'...
I have no advice for you simply because you do not know what you want and are apt to change your mind and do whatever strikes your fancy next week, regardless of consequences.
I really feel bad for you. It must suck to create so much drama and turmoil for yourself, spinning your own head and heart like a bottle in a kissing contest.
I'm pretty sure though that you are not going to be happy no matter what you do or what advice you follow. You're just not the type to be happy with what you have.
Then again, who is? Still, I'm glad I'm not you.
I hope you find peace and lasting happiness... somehow.
Good luck
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