A
female
age
36-40,
*rooke_pregnant
writes:Hi everyone, My name is Brooke and I am 24 years old. I met my best friend Mike, when we were in high school. We spent many hours hanging out and just being there for each other. 18 months ago he walked me down the aisle when I married the man off my dreams. We had a whirlwind relationship, met while we both on vacations with freidns. Dated for 8 months , got engaged and got married 6 months later. He was perfect, romantic, and loving. As soon as our honeymoon was over so did the loving , caring man I married. Within weeks of being married he became verbally abudive. Calling me fat (after I gained 10lbs on our honeymoon), he would lower me down telling me I was useless and worthless everytime we got into an arguement (which happened alot). Then one day he hit me, he told me it would never happen again. But it did, over and over again. Mike being the good freind that he was noticed the bruises I tried to hide . He keep telling me to leave and telling me that he was there if I needed a friend. But I would make up some excuse for the fight. 5 weeks ago he went out golfing with friends , came home drunk and got into a fight with me. He beat me , I honestly thougth that I was going to die, that he wasn't going to stop until I was dead. The next day when I didn't come into work, Mike showed up at lunch like he normally would . After he seen me bruised head to toe he told me I had one choice, willing leave with him or he called the police. I packed up a few things and left. I have been staying with Mike. Last night I took a home pregnancy test and it came back positive. Now I don't know what to do. I know I need to stay away from my husband but he also needs to know that I am having his baby. What do I do? I am afraid to see him but I'm more afraid to stay away from him. How do I protect myself now that I am pregnant with his child? and what rights would he have?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): Informing a man that he will be the father of a child is not "optional." I can't understand how this stuff even gets discussed in mature serious tones.If he's abusive then leave him. I'm all for that. But a child is the product of TWO PARENTS regardless of whether it's convenient or not. The mother does not automatically have some kind of oversight discretion to judge the worthiness of the father before informing him. This is WRONG.
A
female
reader, mrs.smith81608  +, writes (12 May 2009):
Let me ask this one question-do you want your child beaten? If your answer is yes-then run back to your husband. If your answer is no-file a VPO against him and stay the hell away from him. No amount of love in the world should make a woman afraid of her husband. Honey, that's not love-not on his part. And I believe that he's broken you down so much that you are afraid to be with him and yet afraid to be without him.
You are a mother now, and you need to protect yourself AND your unborn baby. The baby deserves the best life that you as it's mother can give it. Growing up in an abusive household is not the answer. Your friend Mike is AWESOME! I believe he will keep the two of you safe.
You already know that your husband won't keep his promises, he's already said he wouldn't hit you anymore and yet had you fearing for your life. He won't change. He'll tell you or the baby he's sorry and it will never happen again, until the next time. It will become a vicious cycle. You are better off staying where you are. And as far as his rights go, I'm not sure about Canada, but here in America if you two are separated posession is 9/10 of the law. If you have the baby in your possession and you two are divorced-you can file for custody keeping him away from the child. I know that sounds harsh but what if the baby won't stop crying during a visit with the father? Do you honestly think that he won't hurt it?
Trust me when I say this as a child of an abused parent-stay away from your husband and keep your child away from him too.
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