A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay I'm 13 turning 14 in 6 mos anyway I have been dating since I'm 11. I only had sex 9 times. 7 times were with boys my age and the other times were with girls. Anyway I just found out I'm pregnant and further along then I thought how should I tell my parents that me and my boyfriend are moving in with his mom and having a baby? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (19 August 2010):
 haven't you heard about safe sex? Man, at 13 you're a kid. No way can you raise one. Tell your parents. They'll have to help you through it, and your bf may not stick around you know. You're both very young. Adult males even leave their pregnant gf's that they've been with for years and love because they dont feel capable of looking after a baby. And for goodness sake, slow down with the sexual partners! Thats not a number to be proud of at your age.
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (19 August 2010):
At this point your sexual history is mainly that: history. Your pregnancy is an ongoing fact. You seem to be a very brave and rather responsible person, because your boyfriend's parents are involved and you have faced up to having a baby.
As tough as it is, your parents need to know! I'm a parent myself, and my kids have gone through your age. I haven't personally faced the situation of pregnant teenagers but I've been around quite a few families as they went through it. In most (but, admittedly, not all) situations like this the parents are actually more supportive than their children expect.
Did you see the movie "Juno", about a pregnant High School girl? Her parents were initially angry and disappointed in her - but eventually became very helpful and supportive of her. OK, that's a fictional story and your situation is different (her boyfriend wasn't involved hardly at all) but I think that pattern is common.
You may need help from your boyfriend, or his parents, to tell your parents. Or maybe a doctor, school counselor, or clergyman. Or even an older sister, brother or good friend. Somebody to go with you - even speak for you, if necessary, to start the conversation - but certainly to reassure and support you with a personal, physical presence. As a very pragmatic advantage, your parents are much less likely to yell or scream or beat you if somebody else is there with you. (OK, it's pretty unlikely that they would do that anyway, but having somebody there to support you will still give you assurance.)
Please come back and let us know what's happening with you.
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A
female
reader, reachingforthestars1025 +, writes (19 August 2010):
i am 17 and pregnant. 4 months pregnant now. the hardest thing to do was tell my parents. but i did it. and im glad i did because they are very supportive to me. they were very disapointed in me for being so irresponsible but it happened and they couldnt change that it happened so all they had to do was deal with it. im not saying it is ok to be young and pregnant but you shouldnt be looked down upon for it. its a mistake it happens. but honestly, in my opinion, i wouldnt move in with the guy just yet. during your pregnancy you will find out that the relationship gets harder and you get stressed very easily. so i would wait until after the baby and see how you guys are doing then and if you still wanna be together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): Nine? Jeez, that's over half your age next time use a condom or contraception. TELL YOUR PARENTS!!! You are not the only one at stake here, that baby of yours needs prenatal care, and don't forget to take care of yourself! Your parents might not be happy about it but its over and done with now and your stuck. Ok, there are a lot of people out there who are dying to have a child of their own, you could probably find someone to adopt the baby or you could try raising him/her with your family. I really don't think moving out is a good idea, you and your boyfriend are still kids yourselves are you ready to raise your own. Sigh, shotgun weddings are so common nowadays. Well best of luck with whatever you decide to do, but next time use protection.
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A
male
reader, jkirk +, writes (19 August 2010):
Only 9 times, what is wrong with you. I haven't had sex with 9 partners in my 45 years. You are on a path to death and destruction. Have you ever heard of herpes, the gift that keeps on giving? How do you feel about have sores all over you private parts for 10 days out of every six months? Ever hear of venereal warts or gonorrhea? Do a little research on the internet before you have sex with your next partner. It just might save your life.
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A
female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (19 August 2010):
If you are only 13 why does your post say that you are 30-35?
Anyway, consider your options, talk to your parents, you may want to do adoption, maybe even within extended family.
Not to judge but did you ever consider the consequences of having a child so young and finishing school? Same as your BF - he is really young to be responsible for the rest of his life - or for the next 18 years for this child.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Only 9?! is that it? holy jesus you should sit your parents down and explain that it was a mistake but you are keeping the baby and have thought of all the consequences of having a child so young. i probably would leave out the part about sleeping around, i'd be devastated to know my 13 year old was giving herself to anyone that breathes
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 You've "only" had sex 9 times since you were 11?
That's a lot of experimenting for a 13 year old.
First off, tell your parents. If you hide it from them, it's not going to do you any favours. They're probably not gonig to like the fact you're moving out either. A lot of teenage couples who are expecting split up during or just after the pregnancy (I'm sorry but it's true). Why not have this baby, go through your options (adoption, being a parent etc). This pregnancy will test your relationship. You don't want to move in with him and his Mum, only to find out that you're not as well suited as you thought. Your family is the only group of people you can 100% rely on, I wouldn't trade them in for someone else's just yet.
good luck
xxx
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A
female
reader, katie123 +, writes (18 August 2010):
Hm well I think that you will have to tell her the truth as she is bound to find out sometime and I think that she will appreciate the truth. Good luck with the baby.
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