A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 34 years old... I have a husband and daughter.. Another child is due 3 months from now... In all honesty I don't love my husband but I have decided to stick with him for the sake of my children. I had an affair for 2 years with someone else that I love so much.. But had to end it because I was advised by the readers here to grow up.. Think about my daughter... bra bra... And partly because the man I love can't support us financially...I have decided to just live like this... My husband has a job and can provide the basics..however he was spoon fed since he was a baby so he does not think outside the box or inspire us.. Everything at home is planned and excited by me.. So I kinda of resent him... And even when I have talked about it with him.. He doesn't seam to get it... I work n have contributed to the home but I am afraid I wouldn't be able to handle alone... My husband also has a child from another woman older than my daughter... So I also raise her... Sometimes I feel overwhelmed.. The mother of my husband left a house where we live and her sister who is older than him but doesn't work or contribute anything... Though I know his lazy and all atleast he has a home where we can live... I am very unhappy but I have chosen to live like this... My ex has also moved on with a single girl though he keeps trying to contact me... Should I live like this...?
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male
reader, Blue Boy  +, writes (27 February 2022):
You have a life girl, and only have ONE, you have a heart, but only have ONE, do what YOUR HEART tells you, remember though, if you leave hubby you can break THREE hearts. your life then children come first. Do what you want not others. Be happy and have a wonderful life my best regards to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2020): no one can tell you what to do, but I think you need to suck it up and live with your decision, which was to marry him, for better or worse, remember? There are different kinds of love. If you don't have one kind, maybe you can dig deep and find another (e.g. if it is not passionate love maybe it is stable love). Surely you can feel thankful for some things here?
You are having a third child so you need to take responsibility for your decisions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2020): Only you can make that decision and only you can change it. Personally I think at 34 you have a lot of life left in you and if you're deeply unhappy then you need to change that.I agree maybe with the previous aunts in that an affair won't solve anything so you were right to end it. You ex seems to just want fun and would probably flea if you left your husband and asked him to be with you.I think you need to look for a new home for just you and your kids and create some distance between you and your husband and you and your ex. You do need to focus solely on your kids rather than any relationship.I understand completely how unhappy you can become living with somebody you don't love, somebody who makes you feel resentful. I've been there and trust me, the only way out is to take time for yourself a d focus on the important people - as said, your kids.You say hubbie doesn't work, is basically spoilt by the sounds and is lazy. I get that financially it's been okay because his Mum left him a house. It therefore doesn't sound like he's going to support you financially but I seriously think there will be support from other areas that you could draw on. Do you have family who could help or even take you in whilst you figure this out and find a place?It really is up-to you but i'd certainly give it a go. good luck.
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