A
male
age
41-50,
*imon SS
writes:Can you al please help me. Long story shory, I met the girl of my dreams in Nov 09. We got on so well together. That well that before we knew it, we had each others names tatooed on each other as she wanted a symbol of us. We had separate houses. When I helped her at work, she introuced me to her friends as this is the Guy I am going to Marry. I treated her and her 5 year old Daughter so well. Christmas Day, we got engaged. Got her a ring. It was perfect. We were looking at houses to rent together. In early Jan 10, we found out she was pregnant. We were both a little shocked, but I thought, wow, this is going to be good. We seemed so much in love. The family life together was looking prominent. Anyway she started to become very irrational, everything was my fault. One day after an silly argument over facebook, she left. Shut me out completly. Changed her moblie number. Removed my tattoo, but did not tell me. Next thing I know, her ex, not the Father of her Daughter was around hers not more than a week after she threw us in. He was there as a friend she said, he fixed her car for MOT etc. I was devisated as I found this out on Valentines day, even though I sent her a beautiful made card with pictures of us on there. She rang me from a mates house told her to never contact her again. A few weeks passed. Limited contact from her. She blocked all my e mails, everything. I did after it all calmed down attend the 3 month scan after a lot of me persuading her.Then I found out that day she removed my tatoo. We agreed to take it slow, but try again.I was made up. I never mentioned the ex issue and hoped it would phase out. We started a few days out with her and her little one.All she talked about was being skint and wanted me to buy a business off her friend for her. She asked me to come off facebook, for her insecurites.I said, of course, she did the same. Her little one told me her Mum, my ex had been back on fb.She lied and said she had not.Truth finally came out and she had.I was so devistated. I tried to talk to her, in a nice way to say I was unhappy. Again next thing she shut me out. She would talk to me about all her insecurities and all I ever did was listen and put it all right. Now, she has moved, changed all her phone numbers. Blocked me completly. Accused me of stalking her. I work for the Gov, and dont need those accusations. I have not seen her for another month. I really feel used. I managed to send her an e mail the other day from an old e mail account, explaining to her that I love her very much and want to help out but also want to know how things are with the pregnancy. All I got back was a flat e mail with her bank details. My ex, the Woman I love has completly shut me out pregnant with our Baby. I mean, I dont know where she lives, have no contact address or any phone numbers for her. I really never in a billion years deserved this. I accept hormones. But to shut me out that much. I honestly did so much for her and her Daughter. I every day am so upset. Do I send her some money?? Do I not?? I have no way of contacting her. I never lied to her. Never. Do I move on?? I keep hanging on in there in case we sort. But we have not been together since Jan. I moved out here to be near her and I am very secluded in the Country. She seems to have moved on. I really wish she would just give me an inch at least. Please, sorry this post is long, but its all factual. Am I be being taken for a ride???? Would any one else in this position give her money when she completly shut me out. She has already said, the csa will be in touch. I am so upset. Any response will be greatly thanked!!!!
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at work, christmas, engaged, facebook, her ex, money, move on, moved out, my ex, stalking, tattoo Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Scotty4543 +, writes (18 July 2010):
Oh mate. Simular story to what I wnet through. Sounds like you just can not do any more. My preegnant ex used me and then when the Baby was born she told me the truth of I was not the Father. I gave her loads of money and loads of time and love through the pregnancy. In this day and age its hard to believe some paople can be so false and lie about these things. Sounds like your ex knows you are there for her. You have done enough mate. Just let it go, at least she dont want nothing to do with you. Sounds too much like my story and the way she had gone about things, well my betting is your not the father and I know thats hard hitting.You sound like a decent loving honest bloke and keep telling your self you are entilted to much better. I would lay money on its her exs baby. She dont love you or she would not be shutting you out like this. Keep telling yourself you are much better out of it. You have been used mate. There is plenty more decent grls out there. Dont get tied down with this one. i made that mistake and wasted money and time thinking it was my baby. It wasnt my baby. If its yours which I really doubt, she is nuts mate. I think there should be a law against heartless Women like that. She needs to face facts and stop being so immature. You really have done enough and you only knew her for a few months. Move on mate. Be happy.
A
male
reader, Simon SS +, writes (9 April 2010):
Simon SS is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the comments every one. I have had enough of being treated so bad, I am in fact now moving on. Life is just far to short to sit and wait!!!! A girl from work wants to go out for a beer with me, and I am going to go!!!!
Waited 3 months nearly 4. Not sure if the Baby is mine, so will get on. I am sure I will hear if it is my Baby or not when its born.
I wont give her any money until I know. And that maybe a while off. Again many thanks all for the honest answers.
Much love.....
Simon.
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A
female
reader, jada101  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 Don't send her sh*t... do you know if she is keeping the baby if she is still preg.... wait and see if the baby is yours
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): Wow!!! well... I totally agree with the reply you already got from quiet-echo. Let me say a few things here:
1. You think you love this woman... you DON'T. It's a temporary emotion. It will go away, promise! You are in love with the person you taught she was.
2. She doesn't seem to be all there. It sounds as though she is very compulsive... is that the kind of person you really want to settle with for the rest of your life????
I know it sounds kind of harsh but to be honest with you the whole thing is "off the wall" and a bit immature on your part too.
You should be thankful that she wants to stay away. Unless you like to suffer... which I don't think.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): Do not send her money. You need to get yourself soem legal help here. You have a right to be there when the child is born and to be in the childs life. I dont know about rights to be there when she is pregnant, but you should look into it. Get all your rights on the table so she can not take advantage of you. Do not send her money. If she wants money, seek legal help in how much you have to pay and do not pay a penny more. Because for all you know she could be using that money on something else than the baby. If she wants to get money from you, she has to grow up and take responsibility. Shutting you out like that is a childish and immature way of dealing with issues.
I can not say why she left or why she behaves the way she does, but what you must do now is secure your interests. You work with the government as you said, the government also has help for you in situations like these. She has basically run away with your unborn child, and she does NOT have a restraining order, so you have every right to see both her and the baby when it is born. Secure those rights.
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A
female
reader, jc82 +, writes (30 March 2010):
 It sounds like maybe you jumped in too quickly? How much do you know about her past? Her friends? Her family? From what you have written there is no other conclusion than its over (and that may be best for you). If I were you, I would hire a lawyer to deal with custody/support issues and quit trying so hard to smooth things over, or get her back. You have done enough. Let her know, if you want, that you intend to let the relationship go, and that you are hiring a lawyer. Don't be mean with her, but be firm. Hormones or not, it sounds like she is a bit crazy. Good luck, and I am sure you will at least be able to enjoy the child once he/she arrives.
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